critical people

Are you struggling with a Perfectionist?

4:23 pm

Are you a perfectionist, or do you know one? In terms of the Communication Styles, the ‘Perfectionist’ style is the one who is most likely to struggle with this trait. If you live with, work with or love a perfectionist, you may be relating already.  This is a trait that I have struggled with for many years so I feel very comfortable sharing here.

 

Let me refresh your memory, the Perfectionist Communicator is all about procedures, processes and perfection.  They love detail and also want to be right.  These Communicators will correct grammar, spelling mistakes or your facts in conversation.

 

This style loves compliance. By compliance we mean working to a system or order, not compliant.  Particularly to your own system or order however this style will work to someone else’s system or process if they agree with it, or if they see it as correct.

 

This communication style is all about getting things right, EXACTLY Right.  If you know someone with this style they are more reserved and task focused.  They are great at details, probably love stationary (known from personal experience) and are highly organised in many ways.

 

What can make a Perfectionist Communicator Difficult?  Their need for perfection is a real struggle, why?  Because outside of very isolated incidences perfection just does not exist, especially if you are Human…..  So you will never reach the expectations of perfection.  How relaxing.  This Communicator can also get caught up in detail which can lead to procrastination as things cannot be finished until it is perfect.  Which it will never be…..

 

These guys are fearful of their work being criticised, how could they not be when perfection is their benchmark?  However, beware of criticising their work as they put a lot of effort into it being right.  It hurts them intensely if they are corrected, especially if it is not done gently.

 

If you are working with someone with this style they will love details, if you challenge their facts you will need to provide statistical backup because they do know their stuff.  I know one Perfectionist Communicator who reads the Australian Taxation website for fun (I have a headache just thinking about that).  They prefer a quiet and consistent work environment where any changes are explained, where they can be some type of technical or information expert.

 

So perfectionism is a big deal to these guys. REALLY. I know this because this is my second strongest trait and in testing I scored 87%.  This has long been held as a negative trait however; it can depend on your definition. In the negative it can stifle progress because you are expecting something unrealistic.  It can cause paralysis and anxiety beyond description.  It can mess with expectations both in there workplace and at home.

 

So how can we view this positively?  

 

The Greek definition is “a continual journey toward maturity.”   Now this is not how I have used it, or how I would described myself when I am perplexed because something won’t look or fit the way I want it too.   However, I would be a better human if this were my definition.

 

So to any one else out there who is brave enough to say that you have struggled with perfectionism either in yourself or expecting it form other lets change how we see it.  We can all benefit from this definition of a continual journey toward maturity – I say bring it on!

 

So if you are struggling for outcomes with one of these communicators here are some tips;

 

To help them deal with perfection the key is gentle support, they do not respond to harsh, blunt or pushy communication.  Hey work really well with big picture thinkers so that their detailed mind can compensate well with the big vision.  Support to keep their expectations realistic is always helpful as well as encouragement and praise for their strengths as they may get stuck on what is not working.

 

The most important thing for these guys is to be supported, for their expertise to be noted and acknowledged to have a diplomatic and reserved response.  They are not touchy feely like the Playful and Patient Communicator.  So keep it more business like.

 

Do not keep avoiding an issue if you have one; that is not the answer.  The first step may be to understand yourself a little more and to do that you can uncover your Communication strengths, style and struggles with our online course.  It costs as much a takeaway pizza, so it is well worth it!  You can find out more  here.

 

Until next time, Connect, Care and be a Conscious Communicator.

Let’s change our world for the better, one conversation at a time.

Are you struggling with a procrastinator?

4:18 pm

Patient communicators … can struggle with procrastination.

In strength, this steady gentle style is one that is warm, welcoming, all about relationship and somewhat more reserved than the playful or powerful styles.  However, they can really struggle with procrastination, they like to change at their pace, if at all.

What makes a Patient Communicator Difficult?  Well it is their avoidance of change or conflict.  Particularly if you need to get something done and they put up their walls….. this can be very frustrating. However becoming frustrated or aggressive will not result in an outcome, they will just burrow deeper.  One of the most common misconceptions about the Patient Communicator is that they are a push over.  Far from it, they have a backbone of steel!  They may agree with words but they will not follow through so pushing is not the answer.

These guys are all about consistency, predictability and people.  There is no doubt you would have someone with this style in your life, as this is the most common communication style (around 35% of the population).

Patient communicators are described as the glue that holds us all together.  While the Powerful style is trying to control things and make decisions the Playful style is all about fun, the Perfectionist is all about things being right, the Patient style is consistent, caring and loyal.

The Patient style craves predictability, they love processes if someone else sets them up, they will follow the right leader to the very end, and they are committed to their cause.  They will work quietly without the bells and whistles to get the job done.

Don’t expect noise and fan fare.  They are reliable and work to a slower and steadier pace.  They will not cause an uproar and are not likely to speak out against things.  These guys will avoid conflict like the plague, are slower to speak up and want everyone to get along.

I am surrounded by this gentle style, as it is the complete opposite to my powerful and perfectionistic traits.  This style is calm, serene, and peaceful.  They don’t get easily flustered and have the best poker face around (they rarely show their emotions on the outside).

When this style is understood they are a loyal team member; they promote calm and stability and will work tirelessly for a cause.  When misunderstood they can seem quiet, uninvolved, avoidant even passive aggressive.

Change is a really big issue for this communicator, they crave consistency even if it is destructive.  They are quite like the ostrich putting their head in the sand thinking the issue will just go away.  As you may imagine, facing an issue and trying to work through with this style, can be extremely difficult.  The harder you push the more they shut down.

 

However, as it is with all of the styles each of us brings our own unique strengths to the table.  The patient and stable style brings about much needed calm and consistency, without them it would feel like utter madness.

The key, if you relate to this, is to realise that procrastination can be a real problem.  It stems from your dislike of change.  If you struggle with the idea of change a good place to start is firstly to know this, then to look at change in a few different ways, including the positive side of it.

So if you are struggling for outcomes with one of these communicators here are some tips;

To help them deal with change the key is gentle support, they do not respond to harsh, blunt or pushy communication.  They want to be spoken to in a helpful supportive manner.  They also need time to process ideas.  They are not as quick to do things as the Powerful or Playful Communicators.  So you may say something like “I have noticed the blah project is falling behind, can we sit down together and go through some ways we can work together to get it back on track?  I have time on Wednesday or Friday can you let me know when will work for you?”  The give them time to respond.  All of this must be done with open supportive and calm body language and a warm tone.

The most important thing for these guys is to be supported, to have a friendly response and for you to keep your tone warm and your face smiling.  Don’t be mean or speak down to them, this will force them to shut down and will not aid a better connection.

Do not keep avoiding a problem if you have one; that is not the answer.  The first step may be to understand yourself a little more and to do that you can uncover your Communication strengths, style and struggles with our online course.  It costs as much a takeaway pizza, so it is well worth it!  You can find out more here.

 

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator.

Let’s change our world for the better one conversation at a time

Are you dealing with a chatterbox?

4:11 pm

Have you ever had to deal with a Chatterbox?  Someone who loves to talk, tell stories and uses many more words than necessary?  They are lovely but if you are short on time, or impatient it can be tricky.  Their catch cry is, “look at me, like me, appreciate me!”

Last time we spoke about Powerful Communicators, today we will talk about Playful communicators. The Playful communicator is one that is warm, fun and engaging.  These guys are all about relationship and having fun.  If you know someone with this style they can range from warm and friendly to zany and the life of the party.

What makes a Playful Communicator Difficult?  It can be their zany, crazy, chaotic, fun loving energy that may drive some people mad.

This style does not care so much for organisation, rules, processes, work – it is simply not colourful or fun enough.  As you can imagine, if you work with this style and don’t understand them, you could be having some frustrations.  These guys are very good at motivating and energising people to do the work, not necessarily doing the work themselves. They can be easily distracted by something that is bright and shiny!

 

I am surrounded by the Playful style; I think it is because I am so driven and full of order and work that I need help to lighten up.  My husband is Playful and he will often grab me when I am in the middle of working just to tell me a joke or get me to watch a silly cartoon.  He brings so much laughter into my life.  I do remember noticing initially that ‘I’ could see this interruption as inconvenient.  Especially when I was in the middle of something I needed to finish or achieve.  Then I realised that I was prioritising my work, my achievement over a beautiful connection with my husband, so I changed my focus.  I saw him in all of his beautiful fun loving nature and I connected with him.  Oh what a good decision!

When this style is understood they make such great friends and teammates, when misunderstood they can seem selfish and self-centred.  Like all of the styles we need to understand the differences and work on how we can best unite to bring out the best in all of us.  We all bring something special and unique to the work and home environment.

So if you are struggling for airtime with one of these communicators here are some tips;

To keep them on track you need to speak up and be firmer with your boundaries.  You can say things like, “I’d love to hear this story but I need to be in a meeting now, so please tell me later”.  Or by making it sound like a friendly and fun game, “give it to me in 5 words or less.”  This is a great way if you know them really well.

The most important thing for these guys is to be noticed, to have a friendly response and for you to keep your tone warm and your face smiling.  Don’t be mean or speak down to them, this will hurt their feelings and will not aid a better connection.

 

Do not keep avoiding the issue if one exists; that is not the answer.  The first step may be to understand yourself a little more and to do that you can uncover your Communication strengths, style and struggles with our online course.  It costs as much a takeaway pizza, so it is well worth it!  You can find out more here.

 

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator.

Let’s change our world for the better one conversation at a time.

What makes someone difficult?

3:59 pm

One of the most popular questions I get is how do you deal with a Difficult person?  Each of you almost everyday will come across someone you find difficult to some degree.

Perhaps that are bossy, or talkative, maybe they don’t say anything and you need them to speak up or perhaps they are pedantic and get caught up in the details.  Either way they are not doing what you need them to do and its PAINFUL…….

Managing how we respond in these moments is critical to the outcomes you will get.  As you may imagine, getting frustrated, short fused, impatient with someone that you are finding difficult is only going to add to the problem you face.

It is critical for us to approach this age-old problem from a different angle.  I firmly believe that coming from a place of understanding is a much more helpful way to approach someone you are finding difficult.

 

We can start this by stopping and recognizing what is it that I am actually struggling with here?  Is it their behavior, their attitude, are they reminding me of something I don’t like?  Am I stressed out because my wants and needs are not being met?  Is it all of the above?

Many of us even though we are adults can get stuck in this place of selfishness, “I need this right now and I am not getting what I want so I am going to get cranky”.  We have all been there.  Acknowledging this is part of helping ourselves learn a better way.

I truly believe that most people are not difficult……. Wait…. What???? Seriously?  Yup, I actually believe that most people are not DIFFICULT, they are DIFFERENT.

 

Not different as in weird, simply different to you.

 

For example, on most days I am in a hurry, not because I am late, but because I am the type of person that just likes to get things done, I am an “achiever.”  I do not know why it is just how I am made.  It is a trait of the Powerful Communicator, “ get it done, get it done fast, and then do the next thing.

So as you can imagine if I am going about my day and I need to interact with someone who does not have the same priority on time and achievement as me, there can be some tension.  Before I was aware of this and how it affected me, I would just see someone in my proximity moving slowly and my eye would begin to twitch.  It frustrated me, because I did not want it to affect my progress.

Now that I am much more attuned to this need in me I can separate myself from it most days and even have a chuckle at how crazy my need for speed is…….

 

This need for speed has been a gift at times, I am extremely efficient and achieve loads, BUT……….. I have paid a very high price for this in terms of my health.  So much so that my poor body has been screaming at me for years to slow down and I ignored it.  So what ended up happening????  I developed chronic illness, including chronic fatigue……. My body was forcing me to S…L…O…W  D…O…W…N

I remember years ago on my first trip to FIJI.  Man I needed it, talk about verge of burn out……  Yes us achievers are not good at resting and slowing down and unfortunately have to experience things like burn out or illness before we get the message to fill the tank and look after ourselves.

It took me at least 4 days to begin to slow down in this tropical paradise.  Every time I sat by the pool I would start mentally going through a to do list, should I plan or read that self development book or set my intentions for the next 12 months…………. Far out brussel sprout!!

 

I would find myself becoming tense as I watched the locals slowly meander around the resort and a snails pace (otherwise known affectionately as FIJI time) and my blood pressure would rise.  I felt like screaming move faster!  How completely ridiculous.  In a moment of clarity I relapsed what I was doing to myself and just how crazy it was, why was I rushing?  What deadline was in my mind?  Why is faster better???  You know what it isn’t………..  Sometimes slower is the way to go.

So realising what your needs are, what is driving you and then seeing how whenever a person comes into conflict with this we see them as difficult.  This is really the beginning of a healthier shift in dealing with people in a more helpful way.

You will slam into people that are different to you on a daily basis so the most helpful thing I have found is to first understand yourself and your needs and then begin to understand others.  So we will begin but looking at each of the Communication DNA styles so you can begin to see where you might be and also where those you struggle with might be.  From this place we can put more helpful responses in place when you are struggles with someone that is different to you.

 

If you would like some background reading on the Communication DNA styles then you can read about each one here;

 

In coming posts we will continue venture into the world of each style and what may make them difficult.

 

Until next time Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Feeling stressed in Your Business?

10:44 am

As a Business owner I am sure you can relate to the idea of Stress.  Stress can come from many places, working long hours, poor cash flow, staff issues, too much work, feeling like you are doing everything yourself, tension in your personal life, feeling like there is not enough of you to go around.

Unfortunately, stress is one of those things that you simply cannot afford to ignore.  Stress simply does not go away through ignoring it; in fact it grows!

We have spoken many times about the cost of poor communication.  It has been shown in research to cost up to 32% of profit.  For a business making $500K pa, this is $160K, that’s not small change.

So you have a business and there are issues, perhaps management is not perceived as approachable, perhaps there is relational tension as different staff clash with each other, perhaps staff don’t feel valued or understood.

Gallup found that 95% of staff will leave a job due to problems with either their boss or co workers.  This is that relational stuff they feel just can’t be solved.

The sad thing is that many times they either haven’t tried, because they believe it won’t change anything, or they don’t have the skills to have these hard conversations.  We have all been there, it just feels too hard and we believe that the grass is greener on the other side.

Now it may be, but what happens when you come up against the same issues in a new workplace?  Isn’t it better to have the skills to deal with it when it happens again? It is not that difficult, I promise.

So, Poor communication costs the Business owner in many ways;

  • Low productivity
  • Poor engagement
  • Bad Customer service
  • Low Morale
  • Wasted time
  • Stress
  • A Leadership gap
  • Poor retention
  • The costs of new hire

I am surprised that the cost to business is not higher than 32%.  When you look at the list above it may surprise you too.  However, every business is different and will face a combination of the issues listed above.

Over coming posts we will tease out these issues and go deeper into how they may be affecting your business and what you can do about it.

The real cost of poor communication is hard to measure as many businesses don’t have measures in place to capture this.  From my perspective the most important thing is to understand the foundation cause of the issue.  For example if it is productivity, is it because staff don’t feel motivated, are not supported, are confused, are working without the resources they need, do not know what to do.  There are many layers and it is critical to understand what is going on so you can address it and fix the problem.

You go into business to kick goals, have some freedom, create a legacy, do what you love and make a difference so let’s make it happen!

We are here to resource you so that you can create the business of your dreams, kick those goals, create a highly productive team and future-proof your business.

If you have questions you can get in contact via our website or our Facebook page.   Don’t keep struggling alone, there are answers, there is support.  You can create a team that is productive and engaged and create a business that is profitable.  If you would like support to grow your business with a Communication Strategy unique to your needs you can get in touch or check out our online courses.

Until next time Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.

Let’s grow your business one conversation at a time.

The real cost of losing staff due to poor communication

7:00 am

What is the real cost of losing staff due to poor communication? 

So we have spoken many times about the cost of poor communication.  It has been shown in research to cost up to 32% of profit.  For a business making $500K pa, this is $160K, that’s not small change.

So you have a business and there are issues, perhaps management is not perceived as approachable, perhaps there is relational tension as different staff clash with each other, perhaps staff don’t feel valued or understood.

Gallup found that 95% of staff leave jobs due to problems with either their boss or co workers.  This is that relational stuff they feel just can’t be solved.

The sad thing is that many times they either haven’t tired, because they believe it wont change anything, or they don’t have the skills to have these hard conversations.  We have all been there, it just feels too hard and we believe that the grass is greener on the other side.

Now it may be, but what happens when you come up against the same issues in a new workplace?  Isn’t it better to have the skills to deal with it when it happens again? It is not that difficult, I promise.

One of the many costs is the costs of new hire.  Let’s look at this a little closer.  Perhaps you have the staff member who had all of that procedural knowledge that is not necessarily written down, all of that experience that cannot be quantified.  What happens if they leave?  All of that knowledge will be lost.  What price can you place on that?

Research estimates that on paper, the costs of losing a staff member can be between 16 and 20% of the salary of the person being replaced for low to medium positions.  For senior executive roles it can be as high as 213% (Zane Benefits, Small Business and HR)

 

Deloitte, found in some recent research that the true cost is much more when you consider;

 

  • The cost of hiring a new employee including the advertising, interviewing, screening, and hiring.  Not only this but the time it takes to find the right person.
  • Cost of on-boarding a new person including training and management time.
  • Lost productivity… it may take a new employee as much as 1-2 years to reach the productivity of an existing person.
  • Lost engagement… other employees who see high turnover tend to disengage and lose productivity.  As well as the rick you take when hiring, will the new person fit in.  Is the culture you have healthy?  It may not be.
  • Customer service and errors, for example new employees take longer and are often less able to solve problems.
  • If the new team member is entering a toxic workplace then stress levels will surely add to mistakes and communication issues
  • Training cost. For example, over 2-3 years a business likely invests 10-20% of an employee’s salary or more in training.  You don’t want to be in that position of just training them and then they leave…..
  • Cultural impact… Whenever someone leaves others take time to ask “why?”

The real cost of losing staff is hard to measure as many workplaces don’t have measures in place to capture this.  From my perspective the most important thing is to understand why the staff member left and to address any communication, staff or systemic issues that contributed to them leaving.

Until next time Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.

Let’s grow your business one conversation at a time. 

How To Disagree With Respect

9:00 am

All of us who hang out in workplaces would benefit from better communication.  Right?  When was the last time you can remember feeling misunderstood in conversation?  If you are like me it used to feel like most days….

How about respect?  Respect s all about having and showing regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others.  Having different needs as a Communicator can by default mean you come across as being disrespectful.

With Poor Communication costing business big time, up to 32% of profit.  That is a lot of money down the drain.  Understand the keys to better communication, knowing how to respect others and you can unlock a hidden profit centre in your business.

Each person in your workplace has a different Communication DNA, or different needs as a Communicator.

If Communication DNA is a new term for you, check out this video specifically about this concept, it will explain it fully for you.

If you are interested in taking the DNA test then get in contact with us.

 

Just to make it interesting, respect means different things to each Communication DNA style for example;

The Powerful Communicator is driven like to take control, they are seen as a driver and is motivated by results.  Respect for them means listening while they talk and not interrupting them.  They love to have input and a challenge.

 The Playful Communicator tells stories is distracted and gets easily bored. They are story tellers, use many words to explain a quick point, and are seen as a talker. They need to be liked.  Respect for these guys means listening and laughing at their stories.  They love space to be creative and energetic.

 The Patient Communicator is quiet, agrees even if they don’t agree, and will not get involved in any perceived conflict, they are seen as a observer.  They crave harmony.  To show respect it is about listening, not pushing them and giving them time.

 The Perfectionist Communicator is into details, can be outrageously organised loves to do lists and is a neat person.  They are seen as an analyser and need to be Right.  Respect is about not criticising their work, if there is a problem telling them privately and asking them for their opinion and ideas on planning and organising.

However, your workplace your business, will only benefit from your staff and team members learning to understand themselves and then others as Communicators and you will be well one your way to improving your Communication and productivity.

Adding to this how to show each other respect and you will see the team unite like never before.  Disrespect often occurs unintentionally.

For example, a workplace I trained to improve communication had to sales people, one a Powerful man the other Playful.  There was quite a bit of tension between the two and soon it became obvious to me why.

 What was happening was that the Powerful guy would speak and his co-worker the Playful one would get excited and jump in with his ideas.  Inadvertently the Playful Communicator was disrespecting his Powerful Colleague.

When it was made clear that the intention of the Playful guy was to help and that he was excited and wanted to contribute not disrespect then things began to shift in a positive direction.  The key was understanding intentions.  When you can get into someone else’s shoes, you can see the world briefly through their lens.

This is a very powerful way to de personalise any tension and get to the cause of the issue which is usually misunderstanding.  If you would like some help to shift some tense or negative relationships in amore helpful direction then why not consider having some coaching to uncover your Communication DNA, how this shows up for you, what your strengths are and how to adapt to the needs of others.

Are the people you work with motivated by Results? Recognition? Relationship or being Right?  For more information check out the article on Communication DNA

If you would like some help with this process then get in touch.  You and your relationships are worth it, end the confusion now, you will not regret it.

We have coaching programs that can teach you all you need to know about your Communication DNA and how to take your Communication to the next level.

You can also get in touch via our website, and Facebook so please join the conversation, we would love to hear from you!

 

Until next time, Care Connect and be a Conscious Communicator

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

When communication goes wrong

7:00 am

We’ve all been there, when we had good intentions, we spoke up and it all went pear shaped.  You wanted to clear the air, and all you did was create a complete crap storm.

What went wrong?  This is painful…. how do I know? I have done this more than most!  I have created an art form of poor communication.  This is why I share all of my learning’s with you guys.  May as well make my mistake helpful for someone else.  “Don’t do what I did!”

 One of the main reasons things go wrong in communication is because we automatically assume that everyone sees the world the way we do.  For example, I get annoyed when….  I would feel like this if……

Ok, newsflash!  The world does not see things the same way you do, each of you is completely unique, yes there are trends and similarities BUT you are all unique.  If you are trying to communicate an idea with someone in a way that you need, guess what, it is not what they need…….

To improve your communication and avoid poor communication, you first need to understand yourself.  How?  Check out how here

 Once you understand yourself, you then need to realise the needs of the person you are communicating with.  This conversation is actually about them.  Hang on< have I lost my mind?  Nope, sorry it is about them.

When communication goes wrong it is because we get caught up in ourselves and our needs, not the needs of the most important person in the equation, the listener.  Think about it this way, it doesn’t matter how eloquent you are, how skilled you are, how nice you are.  If your message is not heard and understood , you have completely wasted your time, and confused the poor person in the process.

What happens next is confusion, frustration, tension and then you slide down in to toxic communication town which is not a fun place to be at all.  The higher the stress levels the worse you communicate!  It is a vicious cycle that needs to be ended.

When communication goes wrong the first thing to do is realize it as soon as possible.  Stop, recap on what happened and why.  From here you can then take responsibility and work to apologise and clear the air as soon as possible.  Don’t put this off, the tension and emotions only grow making the whole process even harder.

You know it has gone wrong by watching the response of the other person, was it weird, did they over react, did they behave in an unexpected way?  Was their body language strange?

So, when communication goes wrong, try and catch it as early as possible, take responsibility, apologise and clear the air.  If you don’t the problem will only grow. Do you have questions?  if so, get in touch here.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Giving constructive feedback? Pt 2

2:49 pm

How do you approach giving someone constructive feedback? Pt 2

Constructive feedback can be challenging, please ensure you have read Pt 1 as well as this edition.  When it comes to giving constructive feedback do you take a gently does it approach?  This can come across as more caring and certainly not confrontational however, you also need to ensure you are clear.  You don’t want to confuse the poor person.

I heard Oprah speaking about the first time she fired a staff member.  She said that she explained it so slowly and kindly that at the end of the meeting (2 hours later…) the person was not aware that they had been fired.  Uh oh!  You need to ensure that they get your feedback.

Do you worry about how they will take it, get all messed up and then it becomes all about you?  This can be traumatic for the person providing the feedback as you are racked with assumption, assuming the worst before you have even started a conversation.

Particularly if the feedback is not positive, if you need to address a problem, or something very challenging like terminate some ones employment.  In any conversation the moment we begin assuming, and filling in the gaps we are headed for trouble.

The other problem here is how we respond in situations when we are highly emotional.  Our brains virtually switch off and we can behave erratically or irrationally.

It is important that as soon as you notice you are assuming the worst or even assuming at all, you need to stop yourself.  This will only heighten your stress levels and anxiety.  Besides, an important note, this is not about you.

Effective communication should always be aimed at the receiver – how will they best receive this message.  So calm down and stop assuming!

Do you think about it from their perspective, get into their shoes and deal with it with warmth and respect?  In my experience I have found this to be the most effective way of approaching feedback.

The moment you approach feedback from the receivers perspective you are on the right track.  You are then able to ensure your communication is tailored for them.  It is also important to be respectful and not confrontational.

Despite how serious the breach has been or the issue is at hand, there is no need to disrespect.  When you approach difficult conversations with clarity, warmth and respect you are creating the best possible environment for effective communication.
 
If you need a better solution to giving feedback contact us at www.teamology.com.au to discuss how we can assist you.

When you understand your own needs as a Communicator and can work out the needs of others giving and receiving feedback becomes so much easier and more successful for everyone involved.  Check out our blue print for effective communication as a good starting point.  Join our community and you will be able to download it it for free.

If you have found this helpful, please share it with someone you think will benefit also.

 

For tips, free resources and our blog  “light bulb moments” head here to  www.teamology.com.au

 

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

 

Giving constructive feedback. Pt 1

9:03 pm

How do you approach giving someone constructive feedback?

Did you know that the way you approach this task says more about you than you might know?  We each have our own unique communication style that influences and drives how we interact with others.

Additionally, many of us do not know how to best approach giving constructive feedback.  This is a critical skill in our communication, it is important to give positive feedback but also constructive.  Without it how do we improve?

As we are all different our approach to feedback also differs.  Some of us are task focused and some are more people focused.  Some are more outgoing and others are more reserved.  I am making it very simple here of course as humans we complicate things so much more – but I like SIMPLE!

Giving feedback is essential in our communication.  It is how we interact on a different level, how we show our impact, how we let someone know the impact they have had on us or on our expectations of them.

In a business environment feedback is essential.  All of us have had feedback sessions with mentors or managers, some great and empowering while others would be filed in the “traumatic” drawer we prefer not to look in all that often.

So how do you approach it?
 Are you an avoider?
 Do you launch in boots and all?
 Do you take it slowly and gently?
 Do you worry about how they will take it, get all messed up and then it becomes all about you?  Or,
Do you think about it from their perspective, get into their shoes and deal with it with warmth and respect? 
 
Which approach do you think will work out best in the end?

Let’s go through these options and see where they may take us.
 
 The avoider – this approach rarely works in the long run.  People who avoid issues need to have an amazing tolerance for mediocrity because, best-case scenario, that’s what you will end up with.

Avoiding the issue of giving feedback will only ever hinder the process of growth and development for both you and the person who is to receive the feedback.  When you avoid an issue, it tends to grow, so small issue will grow into a much bigger issue with avoidance.

Jumping in boots and all can also be problematic if you are not fully prepared and able to think before you speak.  The best thing about this approach is that you are doing it.

The most problematic issue may be that if you go in too hard and fast you risk offending the receiver of the feedback; particularly, if the feedback could be confronting for the receiver.

Feedback alone is a confrontational process to go through so we need to be aware of this and ensure our approach is not confrontational as well.

Next time we will check out the gently gently approach to feedback namely, and discuss some effective techniques you can put in place to assist you.

If you have found this helpful, please share it with someone you think will benefit also.

For tips, free resources and information on how to become a more effective communicator check out www.teamology.com.au

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.