Knowing your intentions

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Each new day is a new start – thank goodness. Sadly many people only consider this at the beginning of the year, that leaves you missing out on 364 new beginning opportunities each year!!!!  So let’s take a brief moment to talk about your intentions and priorities in terms of relationships for you.

What do you agree that we have control over?  All the strong Powerful and Direct Communicator say “everything?!”  You may agree, the only thing we actually have control over is ourselves and our reactions.  This is particularly important when it comes to communication and relationships.  We all have the option of choosing our response.  Every day we are faced with people we find easy to be around and others that are “not so easy”.  People that we can find challenging are usually either the same as us (for those strong dominant personalities) or the opposite of us.

The key to better communication is to raise your own awareness to what you find easy and not so easy.  It’s then realising that you have the choice to respond with understanding and patience.  Unfortunately, when someone pushes your buttons they usually have no idea.  We get so caught up emotionally on how much they are ruining our day and they have no idea!

If a fast-talking, harsh, blunt co-worker just drives you nuts, it is more than likely their communication style and they are oblivious to your frustration.  In fact they probably think they are being gentle.  Or if it is the slow moving, slow talking, gentle colleague that never says “No” and does not stand up for themselves, who you find difficult.  Again it is probably their style, they would never dream of annoying anyone!

If you pause and take a moment to separate the person from how you are feeling and not take these things personally (because they aren’t), you are well on the way to better communication.  Communication is key to success across all areas of your life.  Many of the biggest problems in business come down to poor communication.  Additionally, the stress associated with poor communication and relational tension can contribute to absenteeism and high staff turnover.

So it is in all of our interest to separate our emotional responses when there is poor communication.  Try these tips to assist you,

  • Look for the strengths in everyone, we all have them
  • Don’t take it personally
  • Realise that everyone has a different communication style

To help you to deal with these tricky situations, Teamology provides workshops to assist you to learn techniques to deal with “difficult people and difficult conversations.”   These workshops are available in house, as public workshops and also as an online option later in 2014, more details to come.

So if you can relate to struggling with a difficult person or people, to not being sure how to be assertive and say what you need to say, consider learning some new skills.

If you would like to know how to stand up for your self and get a good outcome then please check out our resources, particularly the November 2014 workshop, “how to handle difficult conversations and get a good result.” You are welcome to check out the training options and resources or email us with any questions. We are here to help.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.


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