Common excuses for not connecting

I hear excuses all the time from people about why they don’t connect with others.  Hopefully you’ve been reading our last two posts about the importance of great friendships. If you haven’t read them please go to part 1 and then part 2.

Here are some common excuses I have heard from people about why they aren’t connected with others and what my response to them is.

You don’t like to burden people. This is a poor excuse and being connected to the right people means they will only love you more. Think about how you feel when you’re supporting friends, this is a very helpful and healthy relational behaviour. It feels good.

 You should be able to do this by yourself. That’s not how the universe runs. It runs on relationship and support, not self-sufficiency. If you knew how to solve this problem you would have done already. Why do so many of you feel this need to solve the problems of the world alone. Besides people love to help, let them, it’s is very empowering.

Your’e  embarrassed by the problems that you face. Most people think they need to be perfect and never had a problem. In reality we all face many complex issues and we shouldn’t get embarrassed when we raise our hand and ask for the help. In fact, asking for help is the smartest thing you can do. If you are in problem-ville, raise your hand and catch the first bus out!

 You have problems trusting. If you struggle with how to build trust then check out our post on that topic by clicking here you can make this a priority and allow others to help you learn how to trust. If you have trouble trusting I am sure it is affecting all of your relationships. You surely have a good reason to be wary but when you heal and move forward learning to trust again is a big part of this process.

Your’e  too busy. The more you put your head in the sand about a problem or issue you’re facing the more control your situation will become and the larger the stress will become. The sooner you prioritise what ever is keeping you awake at night the sooner you will sleep peacefully.

You don’t know where to find the kind of people that I’m talking about. You’re able to find personal and supportive relationships in many places for example a healthy church, support groups, people from work, people from community groups sporting clubs, friends of friends if you’re open to healthy friendships you will find the right people. The best way to gain a great friend is to be a great friend.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.