Is anyone a raging Block fan? After all with almost half a million following on Facebook and it being a Channel 9 hit show you just may be a fan.
Well I am, and in recent months with a heavy bout of insomnia I have been indulging in the wee hours. I love it!
In a recent very popular post about “dealing with a Strong Dictator, oops sorry Communicator” it seemed to strike a chord with you all. So I am guessing that many of you out there are struggling with this from time to time?
Now the recent changes to the block have meant that all of the teams who have been competing with each other are now forced to work together to finish an entire apartment together in 2 weeks. You may agree, a very challenging environment! As you may have read on this blog too, stress can bring out the worst in our communication styles.
For example if you are a Powerful and Direct Communicator, under stress you may become stronger, more direct, more aggressive and even more competitive. A nice situation huh. Now the lovely example I want to share with you of the Strong Powerful and Direct communicator on the block is none other than ‘Dee’.
She openly describes herself as assertive and cannot see why she is too confrontational and difficult for the other contestants to deal with. From all accounts she appears to be a lovely lady and terribly talented stylist however, she openly and without shame will “fight anyone” who gets in her way.
She fights for her rights, she will not take “No” for an answer and commonly responds to any attempts of collaboration with “What’s in it for me, how does that help me, that’s not my problem, or just flat out No.”
She has no fear or hesitation in speaking up, she frequently confronts anyone who she feels needs to be confronted and she what she thinks without hesitation and sometimes without any softening. The more stressed and pushed she gets, the harder more determined she is.
The hard thing for the other couples seems to be how to deal with her, with many of them just avoiding the confrontation or trying to laugh it off which only enrages her more. The lovely ‘Dee’ does not appear to understand that her strength of being able to be assertive and speak up can be threatening to others. In fact, you could argue that she doesn’t seem to care.
This is a frequent issue for Strong Powerful and Direct Communicators. Like all of us, we forget that we are different and think that we can all approach situations in a similar way. The fact that confrontation is so comfortable for her means she may have no understanding of someone who finds is completely frightening.
Similarly a Strong Playful and Influencing Communicator can have no understanding of the fear of a shy person. They struggle to see how someone can be frightened of speaking to some they don’t know because they are so comfortable with it.
So, thank you Dee and the Block for illustrating so beautifully such a common communication problem. If you relate and have struggled to deal with a Strong Communicator, to be assertive or say ‘No’ then check out our course on how to Master difficult conversations https://teamology.com.au/courses/madc/
You can learn some really simple and powerful strategies so that you are able to deal more effectively with such situations both at work and personally. Don’t put it off any longer; you deserve the freedom that speaking up for yourself brings.
Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator. Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.
