Did you know that you can master your emotions? Emotions should not run your life. Yes, we all feel them all of the time, but they should not control you.
I have found in my years of consulting, counselling and training that in many cases people are on auto pilot and are reacting out of emotions that have not even been acknowledged.
When you are reactive you are not in control and are giving all of your power away to the situation. This only creates more frustration, confusion and also emotion.
A very wise woman said to be once that the word motion is part of emotion because you need to feel it and then let it move. There has to be an element of motion. When you feel emotions and allow them to move on that no longer control you or your behaviour.
I sat with a lovely man a few days ago after speaking at an event. He looked me in the eyes and asked me “How do I stop feelings things so much?” This lovely man with tears in his eyes was completely lost. He wanted these really strong emotions he was feeling of being helpless, feeling out of control, feeling burdened to just go away.
Here are some simple tips to manage emotions so that at that critical time when someone has pushed your button you are able to remain in control.
I shared with him what I have learned over many years and that is to allow yourself to feel. It is only when you suppress or try and hold the emotions inside or ignore them that they grow.
He looked at me like I was slightly whacky and said “surely that’s not it?”
I asked him to give it a go and see what happened. I then shared with him these tips to help him become the Master of his own Emotions.
1) Identify What You’re Really Feeling
When you’re experiencing this negative emotion or Action Signal, ask yourself, “What am I really feeling right now?”
Get clarity on the emotion. “Am I feeling angry, or is it something else?” The power of acknowledging what you are feeling is so powerful.
2) Acknowledge Your Emotions
Be thankful they are sending you a message. Cultivate the feeling of appreciation for all your emotions. They are there to serve you. They are great gauges of how we are doing, do we need to rest? look after ourselves? listen to our intuition? and much more.
Next time we will continue with some more useful ideas on how to manage your emotions.
Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator. Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.
