Today I will share an incident with you that involved Me, a Tattooed man and Dog Poop. Another title may have been the Art of Successful confrontation.
We were on our last day of Holidays and we were walking the dogs. It was a lovely break near the beach. Each morning up early and a long walk along the beach that stretches for 20+ kms from near Nelsons Bay to Newcastle.
We were on the approach to the beach when my lovely pup, Betty Boo decided to take a poop on a beautifully manicured lawn. I was unprepared; I didn’t have a doggy poop bag. In my mind I thought, “I’ll come back later and sort that out.”
As we rounded the corner to the beach I hear yelling. There were 2 men walking behind us so I assumed the yelling was to do with them. Then I heard “Oi, you! If you are going to let your dog crap on my lawn you can clean it up!” It was very aggressive and confrontational.
I responded, “Yes, so sorry, was unprepared, I will clean it up on the way back I promise.” He was not impressed, mumbled something less than friendly under his breath and stomped off.
I noticed a slight adrenaline surge, in the pit of my gut. This man was very angry looking and very angry sounding. He was muscled, tattooed and looked quite scary to me. I thought of a couple of things.
Firstly, good on him for addressing this, it wasn’t right for me to leave a poop on his lawn. Secondly, he didn’t need to be quite so aggressive. What if he had said this to someone else who did not respond quite so humbly and agree to fix it? I could have launched into a tirade of abuse back that may have escalated things very quickly.
My lovely Husband said, “let’s pick it up on the way back and put it on his doorstep hey?” Nice…. Revenge feels good for a millisecond then reality sets in. So I did not agree to this after fantasising about it for a short moment.
What could have been done better?
Speaking up is a great thing. If someone disrespects you or something you stand for, speaking up is a great way to ensure you don’t harbor unforgiveness and resentment. However, it is all about how you do it.
This fellow was far too aggressive. Perhaps because he has been ignored or abused in the past, who knows? All I know is that I would have fixed the mishap regardless and really did not need to be yelled at.
In fact, some of the best influencers I have seen in action kept their cool, speak their mind and the response is nothing short of outstanding. I love that. So it’s not speaking tour mind that is the issue it is ALL ABOUT how you do it.
So I encourage you to speak your mind. It isn’t easy; most people find it very hard, as they fear the response of others. It’s much easier to mumble something to yourself be passive aggressive, fantasise about your response and not do it, than suck it up and speak your mind.
Have a go, see the respect you have for yourself and that others have for you as you speak up. Notice how much lighter you feel, less stressed, less resentful when you speak up. Just be respectful and stay calm. Good luck, have a go, until next time….
Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator. Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time..
