How to say what You need to say

How to say what you need to say and not offend?  How do you say what you need to say and not lose a friendship or relationship?  This is a huge fear many people have.  

I am often asked, “how do I say No and not hurt someone’s feelings?”  In other words you are fearful of saying something that upsets and then losing the relationship.  This is really unrealistic, if a friend said “No” to you, would you right them off?  I doubt it.  This is a fear that many of your have but it is really a lie we have been sold.

Similarly, “I can’t stand how they do this but I can’t say anything.”  I have dealt with senior executives who really struggle to give feedback to their staff, with couples who can’t say what they feel to their spouses, friends who feel unable to say what they really feel for fear of losing the relationship and offending the other person.  People who cannot say “No” and end up exhausted from all of the “Yes’s” they have said.

This situation cannot last, holding onto such negative emotion and expecting the relationship to flourish is unrealistic.  Even if you say nothing the way you behave changes, you distance yourself, turn off or begin to change how you react.

This Communication Gap only gets bigger as the resentment grows for not saying what you feel in your heart.  The resentment that begins with you resenting the inability to speak up, soon turns to you blaming the other person for their behavior.  Unfortunately, the person causing you the grief has no idea what they are doing to upset you.  On top of this, nothing changes…….

Becoming confident and capable of saying what you feel with care and respect is a wonderful skill.  It’s not that hard to do particularly when you understand yourself, can understand the other person and then use your strengths to be honest.

Learning the skill of speaking up, saying what you need, placing boundaries in your relationships whether at work or home is crucial to flourishing, healthy relationships.  If you can relate, if you know you need to be able to speak up, be assertive, give feedback to your staff, encourage others more, Say No more often then consider coming along to our upcoming event “The power of your potential”  You deserve to get that promotion, that new job, more responsibility, to be able to speak up, to work effectively with others, to motivate your team to achieve.  I am really excited about sharing the best of my communication tips with you – live!!  Details to come.

We are completely committed to your success so join us and learn more about the different communication strengths and how as a communicator to maximise your relationships and their unique potential.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.