Communication

3 tips for Better Communication

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If I could tell you 3 things you can begin to do right now that will turn you into an awesome communicator would you be interested?  Seriously, back away from your smart phone and listen up, this will revolutionize your relationships.

These tips are so simple you may look at the and go, “no way, that’s too simple”.  But I promise you, do this and it will literally change your relationships for the better.

#1 Talk less  – Yes! Shut up, stop your mouth from moving and trust me.

#2 Listen more  – your mouth has stopped now your ears need to work.  When you are not talking you are free to do something very powerful- Listen.  You will be amazed at what you learn about the person you are communicating with

#3 Stop Judging – turn off the judgmental radar we are all blessed with and leave it off.  Judgment is when you think you need to tell someone they made a mistake, or how to improve, or why they need to be better.  NO!  This separates you from who you are communicating with.

Now this sounds too simple doesn’t it, but please trust me and have a go.  This will revolutionise your relationships, prove me wrong, I dare you 🙂

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Your checklist for better parenting

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If you are a parent you already know how difficult it is.  You can [put so much pressure on yourself to be a perfect parent.  However, this is an impossible expectations so lets trash that concept right now and introduce a new one…

Being a Progressive parent.  This means learning form your mistakes, being kind to yourself and understanding that even with the best intentions things can still go really pear shaped.

Here are a few thoughts to help you become the best parent you can be;

  • Knowing your intention before you communicate

Intention means purpose, know what you want before you open your mouth. Is it to encourage? To apologise?  To clarify? What is your intention?  If you don’t know how on earth will your child?

  • Give the benefit of the doubt

Kindness is necessary, after all we are all Human, we make mistakes.  Give your child the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe they didn’t do their homework or have been caught in a lie.  It doesn’t mean they are a bad person or that they don’t love you.  Perhaps they have a lot on their plate at the moment; maybe they are struggling with something.  They need understanding not a lecture.

  • Stop misinterpretation in its tracks

Creating a safe place to be yourself is necessary in your relationships with your kids.  You’re a living breathing example to your kids.  So teach them how to clarify communication.  Check in regularly with them.  If you are confused by your child’s behavior ask questions, clarify, please do not assume!

  • Understand your Communication DNA

Each of us has different styles of communication, this is what I call your Communication DNA. Learn more about this here

In order understand others you must first understand yourself, what makes you tick, why you do what you do.  Then the next step is to understand your child as a Communicator too.  Your children are their own people so they may be very different to you.  One of the most powerful gifts we can give our child is complete acceptance of who they are and what makes them unique.

  • Not knowing your own communication style and strength

Each of us has our own unique style and strength as a Communicator.  You may be direct, a natural decision maker, or perhaps you are charming and influencing, perhaps you are a natural listener or maybe you love details and understanding why?

Understanding yourself means you will be really clear on what makes you tick, then you are able to understand what makes other tick.

From here it is possible to create a communication centered home and family that will flourish.  If you would like to know how to create this type of culture in your home then get in touch.  Don’t put it off, you deserve to experience better communication with your children.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

How to stand up for yourself

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Another word for standing up – is ‘assertive.’  This is an essential skill that few people have mastered.  Some Communicators struggle with this particularly the Patient and Playful styles.  Why?  Because they fear offending people.

How to be more assertive

Assertiveness is on a continuum between being passive and being aggressive.  Many of us get assertiveness confused with aggression but they are quite different.

Assertive behaviour sits between aggressive and passive behaviour. When some people are criticised, they say nothing or feel intimidated to speak up. This is the passive behaviour. In contrast, some people react strongly and emotionally, become angry and loud or even insulting. This is the aggressive behaviour.

In other words, a lot of people give in to the criticism or react strongly without focusing on the message. Naturally, these behaviours are not optimal and do little to make the person feel better about themselves or others.  Such reactions also do not result in a good outcome form our interactions with others.  Fortunately, there is a middle ground we can use which is known as assertiveness.

Being assertive is about being able to state your opinion, state your feelings and take responsibility for you.  However it is also about being clear so that others can be held accountable for their contribution. 

Real assertiveness is a beautiful thing to watch, it is hard to argue with and it brings about accountability and change.  Here is a checklist to being more assertive.

  • Use “I statements” to focus the conversation on you taking responsibility for your feelings and not blaming others.  For example;

“I don’t agree” rather than “You are wrong”

  • Learn to say “No” and stick to it. The word “No” is quite powerful, so use it.
  • Deliver your message to the person that matters, not to everyone else but the person.  Gossip is harmful, disrespectful and unprofessional.
  • If you don’t understand the other person, ask for clarification. Don’t assume or interpret what they said. A wrong interpretation can make you upset can easily lead to a whole new conflict.
  • If you struggle to say “No”, you can tone it down by offering alternatives.
  • Avoid exaggerations such as “You always…”, “You are…”, “You constantly…”, “You never…”, “You are the most…”. They are not true, so there is no point to state them like that as they will be instantly rejected and the focus of the conversation will change towards them.

If you would like to learn how to be assertive and add to your tool box for better communication why not get some coaching to learn how to based on your own unique Communication style or DNA?

If you would like to learn what your Communication DNA is then click here.

If you would like a obligation free chat to discuss how we may be able to support you on your journey to deal with difficult people then contact Kylie Warry on 1300 707 481 for more information or email us

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

How to get what you want

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Have you ever wished you could just get what you want?  Are you sick of being everything to everyone else?  Of being totally spent because you are there for everyone else?

The key to getting what you want is to understand you communication DNA and to be able to understand how you differ from the person you are dealing or communicating with.  If this is a new concept then click here.

Before you get what you want you need to know what it is you want?  How can you get it of you don’t know?  Is it to be heard and valued at work, or for your partner to hear your concerns, perhaps it’s to have your ideas listened to, maybe its to have a difficult conversation and get a good result?

This is critical and it is really important to get to the foundation of what you want.  Is it to be heard and understood, is it to share your concerns, is it to clear the air, what is it?

The best way to get what you want is to ensure that first of all you know what it is you want and who you want it from.  Is it a boss? a teammate? your business partner? your partner at home? a friend? a client?  Who is it?

Then you need to get into their shoes; yes the best way to get what you want is to understand what they want first!  Sounds weird huh?  But if you know what you want, and what they want you can create a win-win for you both!

This is the best way to get what you want and it does not involve any shady tricks, underhanded tactics or manipulation.

The best way to get what you want is to help others get what they want.  Then it is a great outcome for everyone concerned.

If you would like to know more about how to get what you want, about your Communication DNA or have another question about how to take your Communication to the next level – don’t be shy, get in contact.  You can email us here.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Ready to Harness your #1 asset?

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Hi my name is Kylie Warry Author, Speaker and Team Expert.  If you’re new to my website then you’re in for a treat. I am so passionate about how we connect with each other. I believe in providing tips and resources to improve your communication.  My belief is that the oxygen to our relationships is communication. Communication is cornerstone to everything that we do.

I want you think about a time when something’s gone wrong in a relationship, if you’re honest about it; it comes down to communication. I want you think about the time that something’s gone wrong at work, again when you think about it something has been mis-communicated.

I want you to think about the time when something’s gone fabulously well; again it came down to how well you connected and communicated your ideas really well with others.

Think about the time your pitch was a complete success; you nailed the communication.  So why is communication a skill that is so crucial to every aspect of our lives that it is discounted?

Is it because we do it every day, subconsciously, many times, even without thinking? Is it because it’s a skill that we’re not really taught how do?   I want you think about who taught you how to communicate.  Who was it? If you’re like most of us it was who you grew up with, your family.

If you were like me, My Mum and Dad were complete opposites, my Dad powerful and direct, my Mum patient and gentle.  They really didn’t understand each other and this lead to much heart break and tension, for the entire 50 years of their marriage.  Don’t get me wrong, they had good times and bad like us all, but it was so much harder than it needed to be.

I grew up with this tension and confusion, I thought it was normal.  When I finished school, I did a behavioural science degree, a postgraduate psychology degree and then worked in human services and mental health for 10 years before I learned about my communication skills, or lack of.

WhatisAssetI then went on journey of self discovery and learned about my unique communication style.  From there, after years of study, learning and personal experience in my own life and business I developed the Communication DNA concept.    When I speak about communication DNA, what I am talking about is your unique communications style, strengths, preferences and challenges.

You see, we all have strengths, we all see things differently. This comes from the vast difference in our background, experience, perspectives, biology and communication DNA. As Brene Brown said so beautifully, self awareness is critical. The biggest gift we can ever give ourselves and others is understanding.

So thank you for joining me on this journey. I promise that will be enlightening, it will take courage to look deep within, but I promise you you and your relationships worth it.

So buckle in, take a deep breath, relax and let’s get started.

Are you are keen to understand what the concept of communication DNA is? You can learn more.

Are you are struggling with the difficult person or difficult situation?  You can learn more.

Are you would like personalised coaching or training?  Find out more.

Are you are looking for a passionate speaker who can help your audience to harness their number one asset, their unique communication skills, then please get in touch with me.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Help I’m a Perfectionist!

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Perfectionist and Conscientious communicators

My passion is teaching people how to communicate authentically and effectively in any situation.  The last but not least of the four communication styles is the perfectionist or analytical style.  This amazing style is all about procedures, processes and systems.  This style makes they life hard by expecting perfection.  Not an easy way to be….

They are all about getting things right.  If you know someone with this style they are more reserved and task focused.  They are great at details, probably love stationary (known from personal experience) and are highly organized in many ways.  Perfectionist (1)

In workshops its evident who the Analytical style is, as they are the ones who find any spelling errors or grammatical issues in my handouts or workbooks, (not that there is that many…..)  Gotta love them!

These guys are fearful of their work being criticized, how could they not be when perfection is their benchmark.  However, beware of criticizing their work as they put a lot of effort into it being right.  It hurts them intensely if they are corrected, especially if it is not done gently.

If you are working with someone with this style they will love details, if you challenge their facts you will need to provide statistical backup because they do know their stuff.  I know one Analytical person who reads the Australian Taxation website for fun (I have a headache just thinking about that).  They prefer a quiet and consistent work environment where any changes are explained, where they can excel in their technical expertise.

These guys are the polar opposite of the playful influencing style, they are not warm and demonstrative, they prefer tasks above people, they wont hug you in public; like an influencer would!  However, if you need a job done that requires detail, high standards and quality, look no further.

This style does not care so much for fun, they love rules, processes, and order- without it there would be complete chaos!  As you can imagine, if you know this style and don’t understand them, you could be having some frustrations.

These guys are very good at critiquing and correcting people (but they don’t mean to be rude they just cannot stand things not being right).  If you need order in your chaos, they will sort you out.

So we have now covered all four communication styles.  I trust you have seen the strengths in each.  We need each style for it’s unique differences.  No one style is above or better than the others.  We are all different and each of us brings incredible value.  Let’s be united by the differences – when we do this we can truly change the world in a better way!

If you are an analytical or perfectionist communicator and are struggling checkout our resources page or contact us with your specific questions.  For training, to learn more about your style and how to get the most out of your relationships then get in touch.

If you would love to understand yourself or others more learn about your Communication DNA, what makes you and others tick, you’ll be amazed at how much you will learn!

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Dealing with a Procrastinator?

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Patient and stabilising communicators …

My passion is teaching people how to communicate authentically and effectively in any situation. Today we will focus on the patient and stable communicator.

This steady gentle style is one that is warm, welcoming, all about relationship and somewhat more reserved than the playful or powerful styles.  They can really struggle with procrastination, they like to change at their pace, if at all.

These guys are all about consistency, predictability and people.  There is no doubt you would have someone with this style in your life, as this is the most common communication style.

This style is often described as the glue that holds us all together.  While the Powerful style is trying to control things and make decisions the playful style is all about fun, the Patient style is consistent, caring and loyal.procrastination

This style craves predictability, they love processes if someone else sets them up, they will follow the right leader to the very end, and they are committed to their cause.  They will work quietly without the bells and whistles to get the job done.

Don’t expect noise and fan fare.  They are reliable and work to a slower and steadier pace.  They will not cause an uproar and are not likely to speak out against things.  These guys will avoid conflict like the plague, are slower to speak up and want everyone to get along.

I am surrounded by this gentle style, as it is the complete opposite to my powerful and perfectionistic traits.  This style is calm, serene, and peaceful.  They don’t get easily flustered and have the best poker face around (they rarely show their emotions on the outside).

When this style is understood they are a loyal team member; they promote calm and stability and will work tirelessly for a cause.  When misunderstood they can seem quiet, uninvolved, avoidant even passive aggressive.

Change is a really big issue for these guys, they crave consistency even if it is destructive.  They are quite like the ostrich putting their head in the sand thinking the issue will just go away.  As you may imagine, facing an issue and trying to work through with this style, can be extremely difficult.  The harder you push the more they shut down.

However, as it is with all of the styles each of us brings our own unique strengths to the table.  The patient and stable style brings about much needed calm and consistency, without them it would feel like utter madness.

If you are a patient communicator and are struggling checkout our resources page or contact us with your specific questions.  For training to learn more about your style and how to get the most out of your relationships the get in touch.

If you would love to understand yourself or others more then why not learn about your communication DNA.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator

Let’s change our world for the better one conversation at a time

Struggling to get a word in?

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Playful and Influencing Communicators

My passion is teaching people how to communicate authentically and effectively in any situation.

Last time we spoke about Powerful Communicators, today we will talk about playful, Influencing communicators.  Man these guys can talk! The influencing style is one that is warm, fun and engaging.  These guys are all about relationship and having fun.  If you know someone with this style they can range from warm and friendly to zany and the life of the party. strug

This style does not care so much for organisation, rules, processes, work – it is simply not colourful or fun enough.  As you can imagine, if you work with this style and don’t understand them, you could be having some frustrations.  These guys are very good at motivating and energising people to do the work, not necessarily doing the work themselves.  They can be easily distracted by something that is bright and shiny!

I am surrounded by the influencing style, I think it is because I am so driven and full of order and work that I need help to lighten up.  My son is a high “I” and he will often grab me when I am in the middle of working just to tell me a joke or get me to watch a silly cartoon.  He brings so much laughter into my life.

As you may imagine if I am focused and trying to get work done I can get quite frustrated with his attempts at humour.  However, I have since grown to appreciate the colour and life that he brings to our relationship, without his humour breaks it would be all work and no play!

When this style is understood they make such great friends and teammates, when misunderstood they can seem selfish and self-centered.  Like all of the styles we need to understand the differences and work on how we can best unite to bring out the best in all of us.  We all bring something special and unique to the work and home environment.

If you are a playful communicator and are struggling checkout our resources page or contact us with your specific questions.  For training to learn more about your style and how to get the most out of your relationships then get in touch.

If you would love to understand yourself or others more, see what makes them tick and learn about your Communication DNA.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.