Today I am going to let you inside the mind of a Patient and Steady Communicator.  I want you to imagine that you too are a Patient and Steady Communicator just for a short moment.  How do you feel when you are being pushed, rushed or forced to do something you are not ready to do?

Every other style is probably saying, “what is the issue?”.  However the flustered, sensible, steady, consistent Patient and Steady communicator is thinking, “I don’t need to do this, I like things the way they are, I am going to pretend nothing is happening”.

Patient and Steady Communicators are all about the PEOPLE.  They are not focused on TASKS so much.  Tasks come in way down the list.  The relationships, harmony and stability are what this communicator craves.

I am sharing this with you so if you are living or working with this Communicator, you can catch a glimpse of the world from their perspective.  This builds connection and understanding, something we can all do with more of.

I noticed this very situation one day when my son was in need to get his homework done.  He came home and under pressure from me, whispered that he had about 3 projects due tomorrow.

As I am a Powerful and Direct Communicator and love the challenge, I immediately rose up on the inside and thought about how he could work to get it done.  Before my very eyes I saw him slink within himself, become very quiet and begin to become overwhelmed with the tasks before him.

Inside I am screaming, “What the heck are you doing?  There is no time for avoidance here, you need to get on with it.  You should have planned this and started weeks ago”.  However, I learned years ago that my way does not work for him, and when I push he just gets quieter and digs in his heels.

I stopped, breathed,  (as I was getting frustrated) and thought about the same situation from his perspective.   A very valuable exercise to do.

My son is a Patient and Steady Communicator.  He is all about RELATIONSHIP and he needs stability.  He is a very warm and caring young man but he does not show this openly.  He is quiet, he needs consistency, he hates pressure at all costs and avoids conflict like the plague.  It was really Enlightening for me when I got out of my rush and impatience and took the time to see things from his perspective.

 

Instead, I sat down, looked at him and said, “ok honey iI am here to help you when you need it.  Just let me know.  I am sure you are going to do really well though, you are such a creative young man.”  He smiled, took his time and in about an hour came out and showed me what he was doing and how he was going to get his assignments done.  Such a nicer outcome than if I had kept on with my agenda.

Perhaps fascinating to others it is completely unintentional on their part.  Stabilisers know deep down their avoidance is causing them problems but they really don’t know what to do about it.  Pushing them only makes it worse – they need to be supported, encouraged and believed in.

So, if you are struggling with a Patient and Steady Communicator, don’t take their avoidance or procrastination to heart.  They crave stability and fear change so much that they sometimes make things worse for themselves.  However, they are so supportive and loyal to others, they make wonderful team members and friends.

If they behave in a way that does not seem proactive, please don’t personalise it, they really don’t mean it.  Try to see what they are dealing with or avoiding and their behaviour may make more sense to you.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.