perspective

Inside The Mind Of A Perfect and Conscientious Communicator

5:53 pm

27108661_l-289x300Today I am going to let you inside the mind of a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator.  I want you to imagine that you too are a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator just for a short moment.  How do you feel when you are striving for perfection, to get things just right, and it seems no one else cares???

Every other style is probably saying “what for????”.  However the flustered, critical, perfectionist, organised Perfect and Conscientious communicator is thinking, “why not?, it must be perfect!!!”

Perfect and Conscientious Communicators are all about the TASK.  They are not focused on RELATIONSHIPS so much.  They come in way down the list.  The to do list, the need to be correct, organised and systemised are at the forefront of their mind.

I am sharing this with you so if you are living or working with this Communicator you can catch a glimpse of the world from their perspective.

Perfectionism is a recipe for delay, for unmet expectations and for procrastination.  You never make it because it will never be perfect.  It is also a recipe for frustration as you have impossibly high standards that need to be met, and cannot be.

I have struggled with perfectionism most of my life, more as an adult than as a child.  For me I think it came form a need to control.  However in reality, all I was controlling was my lack of progress.

Recently I have decided to let go of perfectionism and go for “progressionism”, a step in the right direction for me.  I remember a light bulb moment for me when someone was trying to offer me help.  I was particularly stressed at the time and so was aiming for perfect for sure.

I had no idea what it was like for the person trying to help, to feel like they did not measure up, to realise that no matter what it would not be good enough.  Bet you can guess what happened – they stopped helping.  At the time I was hurt, but now I can see why they did.

There are many other examples when the Perfect and Conscientious Communicator can get too caught up in the perfectionism of the TASK and forget about the impact on the people around them.

Perhaps fascinating to others, it is completely unintentional on their part.  So, if you are struggling with a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator, don’t take their perfectionism or criticism to heart.  They have a need to be organised and have a drive for perfectionism within them that is hard to understand.

If they behave in a way that does not seem appreciative, please don’t personalise it, they really don’t mean it.  Try to see what the task is they are trying to accomplish and their behaviour may make more sense to you.  Their criticism is really meant to be helpful.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

 

Inside The Mind Of A Patient and Steady Communicator

10:01 am

harmonyToday I am going to let you inside the mind of a Patient and Steady Communicator.  I want you to imagine that you too are a Patient and Steady Communicator just for a short moment.  How do you feel when you are being pushed, rushed or forced to do something you are not ready to do?

Every other style is probably saying, “what is the issue?”.  However the flustered, sensible, steady, consistent Patient and Steady communicator is thinking, “I don’t need to do this, I like things the way they are, I am going to pretend nothing is happening”.

Patient and Steady Communicators are all about the PEOPLE.  They are not focused on TASKS so much.  Tasks come in way down the list.  The relationships, harmony and stability are what this communicator craves.

I am sharing this with you so if you are living or working with this Communicator, you can catch a glimpse of the world from their perspective.  This builds connection and understanding, something we can all do with more of.

I noticed this very situation one day when my son was in need to get his homework done.  He came home and under pressure from me, whispered that he had about 3 projects due tomorrow.

As I am a Powerful and Direct Communicator and love the challenge, I immediately rose up on the inside and thought about how he could work to get it done.  Before my very eyes I saw him slink within himself, become very quiet and begin to become overwhelmed with the tasks before him.

Inside I am screaming, “What the heck are you doing?  There is no time for avoidance here, you need to get on with it.  You should have planned this and started weeks ago”.  However, I learned years ago that my way does not work for him, and when I push he just gets quieter and digs in his heels.

I stopped, breathed,  (as I was getting frustrated) and thought about the same situation from his perspective.   A very valuable exercise to do.

My son is a Patient and Steady Communicator.  He is all about RELATIONSHIP and he needs stability.  He is a very warm and caring young man but he does not show this openly.  He is quiet, he needs consistency, he hates pressure at all costs and avoids conflict like the plague.  It was really Enlightening for me when I got out of my rush and impatience and took the time to see things from his perspective.

 

Instead, I sat down, looked at him and said, “ok honey iI am here to help you when you need it.  Just let me know.  I am sure you are going to do really well though, you are such a creative young man.”  He smiled, took his time and in about an hour came out and showed me what he was doing and how he was going to get his assignments done.  Such a nicer outcome than if I had kept on with my agenda.

Perhaps fascinating to others it is completely unintentional on their part.  Stabilisers know deep down their avoidance is causing them problems but they really don’t know what to do about it.  Pushing them only makes it worse – they need to be supported, encouraged and believed in.

So, if you are struggling with a Patient and Steady Communicator, don’t take their avoidance or procrastination to heart.  They crave stability and fear change so much that they sometimes make things worse for themselves.  However, they are so supportive and loyal to others, they make wonderful team members and friends.

If they behave in a way that does not seem proactive, please don’t personalise it, they really don’t mean it.  Try to see what they are dealing with or avoiding and their behaviour may make more sense to you.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

 

The Mind of a Playful and Influencing Communicator

5:45 pm

CEO-as-chief-communicatorToday I am going to let you inside the mind of an Playful and Influencing Communicator.  I want you to imagine that you too are an Playful and Influencing Communicator just for a short moment.  How do you feel when you are being your vivacious best, your funniest, and you are not seen?????

Every other style is probably saying, “Why do you want or need to be seen??”  However the confused, frustrated, hurt, Influencer is thinking, “Why don’t they like me????”.

Playful and Influencing Communicators are all about the PEOPLE.  They are not focused on TASKS so much.  Tasks come in way down the list.  The to do list, the projects and the challenges are at the back of their mind.

I am sharing this with you so if you are living or working with this Communicator, you can catch a glimpse of the world from their perspective.

The Playful and Influencer is all about being recognised.  They need to be noticed, to be liked.  They need a warm and fun environment to flourish in.  Sitting on their own in an office is likely to literally have them crawling up the walls.  In fact they would likely go and find some friends and play indoor cricket with a rubbish bin and paper ball.

Playful and Influencing Communicators are very warm and caring.  If they are speaking too much, getting loud or doing silly things to gain your attention, it is because they are feeling unheard and unnoticed.  It can be very enlightening to take the time to see things from their perspective.

There are many other examples when the Playful and Influencing Communicator can get too caught up in the need for recognition in RELATIONSHIPS and forget about the impact on the people around them.

Perhaps fascinating to others, it is completely unintentional on their part.  So, if you are struggling with a Playful and Influencing Communicator, don’t take their apparent lack of focus to heart.  They have a need to be seen, to have fun and to be recognised that drives them.  They have strengths that make them amazing members of your team – you just need to know and harness them.

If they behave in a way that does not seem focused or seems a little selfish, please don’t personalise it, they really don’t mean it.  Try to understand that they need to be seen and may be feeling a little ignored.  Their behaviour may then make more sense to you.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

 

Inside The Mind Of A Powerful and Direct Communicator

9:19 am

car-door-79744319490_xlarge-2 Today I am going to let you inside the mind of a Powerful and Direct Communicator.  I want you to imagine that you too are a Powerful and Direct Communicator just for a short moment.  How do you feel when you are in a hurry, stressed or frustrated and your lovely partner opens the door for you???

Every other style is probably saying, “Awwww isn’t he lovely”.  However the flustered, practical, rushed Powerful and Direct communicator is thinking, “I don’t need you to do this, I am in a hurry, you are wasting precious time!!!!”

Powerful and Direct Communicators are all about the TASK.  THEY are not focused on RELATIONSHIPS so much.  They come in way down the list.  The to do list, the projects and the challenges are at the forefront of their mind.

I am sharing this with you so if you are living or working wit this Communicator you can catch a glimpse of the world from their perspective.

I noticed this very situation one day when my loving man was accompanying me to the car.  We were on our way somewhere, we were on the verge of being late and he wonderfully accompanies me to my side of the car, walks in front of me and opens my door.

Inside I am screaming, “what the heck are you doing?  I am perfectly capable of opening the door, now we will be late for sure…..”.  Then I stopped and thought about the same situation from his perspective.  A very valuable exercise to do.

My Husband is an Playful and Influencing Communicator, he is all about RELATIONSHIP.  He is a very warm and caring man and for him when he opens the door for me he is showing me care, love and respect.  It was really Enlightening for me when I got out of my rush and impatience and took the time to see things from his perspective.

There are many other examples when the Powerful and Direct Communicator can get too caught up in the apparent urgency of the TASK and forget about the impact on the people around them.

Perhaps fascinating to others, it is completely unintentional on their part.  So, if you are struggling with a Powerful and Direct Communicator, don’t take their impatience to heart.  They have a timeline, an urgency and a drive for productivity within them that is hard to understand.

If they behave in a way that does not seem appreciative please don’t personalise it, they really don’t mean it.  Try to see what the task is they are trying to accomplish and their behavior may make more sense to you.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.