procrastination

The Patient and Steady Communicator And Emotion

11:41 am

glue-pixabyThe Patient and Steady Communicator and emotion.  Let’s just go back and be re acquainted with the lovely stabilizing style.

The Patient and Steady style is one that is warm, welcoming, all about relationship and somewhat more reserved than the inspiring or dominant styles.  These guys are all about consistency, predictability and people.  There is no doubt you would have someone with this style in your life as this is the most common communication style.

This style is often described as the glue that holds us all together.  While the Powerful and Direct style is trying to control things and make decisions, the Playful and Influencing style is all about fun, the Perfect and Conscientious style is all about systems and perfection, (more next month) and the Patient and Steady is consistent, caring and loyal.

This style craves predictability, they love processes if someone else sets them up, they will follow the right leader to the very end, and they are committed to their cause.  They will work quietly without the bells and whistles to get the job done.

Don’t expect noise and fan fare.  They are reliable and work to a slower and steadier pace.  They will not cause an uproar and are not likely to speak out against things.  These guys will avoid conflict like the plague, are slower to speak up and want everyone to get along.

In terms of Emotion, these guys can be a hard nut to crack.  They don’t tend to show emotion.  Sad face, happy face, same face. These guys are the poker face of the styles.  Why?  It’s mostly about protection.

This style feels things really deeply, in fact they may feel things the most, however they don’t show it unless they feel incredibly safe and secure. You cannot push this style to show themselves, they have a backbone of steel.  They also do not like confrontation or conflict so will happily avoid it, often to their own detriment.

In the wrong conditions this style has made procrastination and avoidance an art form.

If you are a Patient and Steady Communicator and you feel like sometimes you are misunderstood, why not learn more about your strengths and how others may perceive you?  It is such a great investment in yourself.  You can learn more by reading “The Enlightened Communicator”.  It can be purchased here.  Also keep an eye out for a new service we are introducing shortly on how to understand your style.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

 

Inside The Mind Of A Perfect and Conscientious Communicator

5:53 pm

27108661_l-289x300Today I am going to let you inside the mind of a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator.  I want you to imagine that you too are a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator just for a short moment.  How do you feel when you are striving for perfection, to get things just right, and it seems no one else cares???

Every other style is probably saying “what for????”.  However the flustered, critical, perfectionist, organised Perfect and Conscientious communicator is thinking, “why not?, it must be perfect!!!”

Perfect and Conscientious Communicators are all about the TASK.  They are not focused on RELATIONSHIPS so much.  They come in way down the list.  The to do list, the need to be correct, organised and systemised are at the forefront of their mind.

I am sharing this with you so if you are living or working with this Communicator you can catch a glimpse of the world from their perspective.

Perfectionism is a recipe for delay, for unmet expectations and for procrastination.  You never make it because it will never be perfect.  It is also a recipe for frustration as you have impossibly high standards that need to be met, and cannot be.

I have struggled with perfectionism most of my life, more as an adult than as a child.  For me I think it came form a need to control.  However in reality, all I was controlling was my lack of progress.

Recently I have decided to let go of perfectionism and go for “progressionism”, a step in the right direction for me.  I remember a light bulb moment for me when someone was trying to offer me help.  I was particularly stressed at the time and so was aiming for perfect for sure.

I had no idea what it was like for the person trying to help, to feel like they did not measure up, to realise that no matter what it would not be good enough.  Bet you can guess what happened – they stopped helping.  At the time I was hurt, but now I can see why they did.

There are many other examples when the Perfect and Conscientious Communicator can get too caught up in the perfectionism of the TASK and forget about the impact on the people around them.

Perhaps fascinating to others, it is completely unintentional on their part.  So, if you are struggling with a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator, don’t take their perfectionism or criticism to heart.  They have a need to be organised and have a drive for perfectionism within them that is hard to understand.

If they behave in a way that does not seem appreciative, please don’t personalise it, they really don’t mean it.  Try to see what the task is they are trying to accomplish and their behaviour may make more sense to you.  Their criticism is really meant to be helpful.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

 

Inside The Mind Of A Patient and Steady Communicator

10:01 am

harmonyToday I am going to let you inside the mind of a Patient and Steady Communicator.  I want you to imagine that you too are a Patient and Steady Communicator just for a short moment.  How do you feel when you are being pushed, rushed or forced to do something you are not ready to do?

Every other style is probably saying, “what is the issue?”.  However the flustered, sensible, steady, consistent Patient and Steady communicator is thinking, “I don’t need to do this, I like things the way they are, I am going to pretend nothing is happening”.

Patient and Steady Communicators are all about the PEOPLE.  They are not focused on TASKS so much.  Tasks come in way down the list.  The relationships, harmony and stability are what this communicator craves.

I am sharing this with you so if you are living or working with this Communicator, you can catch a glimpse of the world from their perspective.  This builds connection and understanding, something we can all do with more of.

I noticed this very situation one day when my son was in need to get his homework done.  He came home and under pressure from me, whispered that he had about 3 projects due tomorrow.

As I am a Powerful and Direct Communicator and love the challenge, I immediately rose up on the inside and thought about how he could work to get it done.  Before my very eyes I saw him slink within himself, become very quiet and begin to become overwhelmed with the tasks before him.

Inside I am screaming, “What the heck are you doing?  There is no time for avoidance here, you need to get on with it.  You should have planned this and started weeks ago”.  However, I learned years ago that my way does not work for him, and when I push he just gets quieter and digs in his heels.

I stopped, breathed,  (as I was getting frustrated) and thought about the same situation from his perspective.   A very valuable exercise to do.

My son is a Patient and Steady Communicator.  He is all about RELATIONSHIP and he needs stability.  He is a very warm and caring young man but he does not show this openly.  He is quiet, he needs consistency, he hates pressure at all costs and avoids conflict like the plague.  It was really Enlightening for me when I got out of my rush and impatience and took the time to see things from his perspective.

 

Instead, I sat down, looked at him and said, “ok honey iI am here to help you when you need it.  Just let me know.  I am sure you are going to do really well though, you are such a creative young man.”  He smiled, took his time and in about an hour came out and showed me what he was doing and how he was going to get his assignments done.  Such a nicer outcome than if I had kept on with my agenda.

Perhaps fascinating to others it is completely unintentional on their part.  Stabilisers know deep down their avoidance is causing them problems but they really don’t know what to do about it.  Pushing them only makes it worse – they need to be supported, encouraged and believed in.

So, if you are struggling with a Patient and Steady Communicator, don’t take their avoidance or procrastination to heart.  They crave stability and fear change so much that they sometimes make things worse for themselves.  However, they are so supportive and loyal to others, they make wonderful team members and friends.

If they behave in a way that does not seem proactive, please don’t personalise it, they really don’t mean it.  Try to see what they are dealing with or avoiding and their behaviour may make more sense to you.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.