Are you struggling with a Perfectionist?

4:23 pm

Are you a perfectionist, or do you know one? In terms of the Communication Styles, the ‘Perfectionist’ style is the one who is most likely to struggle with this trait. If you live with, work with or love a perfectionist, you may be relating already. This is a trait that I have struggled with for many years so I feel very comfortable sharing here.

Let me refresh your memory, the Perfectionist Communicator is all about procedures, processes and perfection. They love detail and also want to be right. These Communicators will correct grammar, spelling mistakes or your facts in conversation.

This style loves compliance. By compliance we mean working to a system or order, not compliant. Particularly to your own system or order however this style will work to someone else’s system or process if they agree with it, or if they see it as correct.

This communication style is all about getting things right, EXACTLY Right. If you know someone with this style they are more reserved and task focused. They are great at details, probably love stationary (known from personal experience) and are highly organised in many ways.

What can make a Perfectionist Communicator Difficult? Their need for perfection is a real struggle, why? Because outside of very isolated incidences perfection just does not exist, especially if you are Human….. So you will never reach the expectations of perfection. How relaxing. This Communicator can also get caught up in detail which can lead to procrastination as things cannot be finished until it is perfect. Which it will never be…..

These guys are fearful of their work being criticised, how could they not be when perfection is their benchmark? However, beware of criticising their work as they put a lot of effort into it being right. It hurts them intensely if they are corrected, especially if it is not done gently.

If you are working with someone with this style they will love details, if you challenge their facts you will need to provide statistical backup because they do know their stuff. I know one Perfectionist Communicator who reads the Australian Taxation website for fun (I have a headache just thinking about that). They prefer a quiet and consistent work environment where any changes are explained, where they can be some type of technical or information expert.

So perfectionism is a big deal to these guys. REALLY. I know this because this is my second strongest trait and in testing I scored 87%. This has long been held as a negative trait however; it can depend on your definition. In the negative it can stifle progress because you are expecting something unrealistic. It can cause paralysis and anxiety beyond description. It can mess with expectations both in there workplace and at home.

So how can we view this positively?

The Greek definition is “a continual journey toward maturity.” Now this is not how I have used it, or how I would described myself when I am perplexed because something won’t look or fit the way I want it too. However, I would be a better human if this were my definition.

So to any one else out there who is brave enough to say that you have struggled with perfectionism either in yourself or expecting it form other lets change how we see it. We can all benefit from this definition of a continual journey toward maturity – I say bring it on!

So if you are struggling for outcomes with one of these communicators here are some tips;

To help them deal with perfection the key is gentle support, they do not respond to harsh, blunt or pushy communication. Hey work really well with big picture thinkers so that their detailed mind can compensate well with the big vision. Support to keep their expectations realistic is always helpful as well as encouragement and praise for their strengths as they may get stuck on what is not working.

The most important thing for these guys is to be supported, for their expertise to be noted and acknowledged to have a diplomatic and reserved response. They are not touchy feely like the Playful and Patient Communicator. So keep it more business like.

Do not keep avoiding an issue if you have one; that is not the answer. The first step may be to understand yourself a little more and to do that you can uncover your Communication strengths, style and struggles with our online course. It costs as much a takeaway pizza, so it is well worth it! You can find out more here.

Until next time, Connect, Care and be a Conscious Communicator.

Let’s change our world for the better, one conversation at a time.

Struggling with a “my way or the highway” kinda person?

4:05 pm

Have you ever had to work with a strong willed, highly opinionated Powerful Communicator? Someone who is so overpowering they just push everyone else aside? If you have ever worked with this style you would know it! They don’t mean to be like they are – to them it is normal.

Based on my Communication DNA model these are what I call the Powerful Communicators. What is it that makes a Powerful Communicator Difficult?

It is their strength, drive, frank communication style, confrontational presence that can make them tricky for those different to them. Additionally, when two of this style come together there can also be an almighty power struggle as they both fight for control.

Powerful Communicators usually end up in positions of leadership, management and decision-making. Why? Because they love control! They are also natural decision makers and get frustrated when someone struggles or takes time with this. This does not necessarily make them great at leadership however. It takes a very self-aware person to be an awesome leader. I believe that any DNA style can make a great leader if they understand themselves and are willing to bring out the best in others.

If you are struggling with someone who loves control, loves to take over and have the final word they are likely ‘The Powerful’ style who loves problems and challenges, craves results, is very black and white and can come across as confrontational and even aggressive. Such people can be highly opinionated to the point where the only opinion that can exist in conversation with them is theirs!!

Powerful Communicators are very good at saying “No.” What this means for everyone else is that unless you stand up to them you will get mown down. It can be very much like “ It’s their way or the highway.”

They know what they want and they go for it. They are driven by results and often mow people over to get to the result. Such a strong Communicator has absolutely no issue with boundaries and looking after their own interests. Most of them don’t even realise how much they can come across as blunt or like a bully at times. They honestly think every one else finds it just as easy to say “No,” when needed.

However, here is where it gets interesting, because they are such strong Communicators and can be so confrontational mostly people don’t actually say “No” to them! So they get this false sense of reality; thinking there are no issues. They go on their merry way, leaving this wake of people with bruises.

Now I spend much of my training and coaching time helping people become assertive so they can effectively deal with a Strong willed, say it like it is, “Powerful Communicator.” You may be having a stroke right now at the thought of dealing with someone so assertive and direct.

The key is to communicate with them in their way, be direct! The amazing thing is, it works! Powerful and Strong Communicators need to be communicated with in a strong and direct way. They get it and even more importantly they respect it. The trouble comes when people avoid them and are not direct with them.

Best of all they don’t see it as confrontation, I promise. Just have a go, remember don’t be rude, stick to the facts, use I messages, be assertive and you will get through to that Powerful Communicator.

So if you are struggling for airtime with one of these communicators the key is to get direct, use fewer words, stand your ground by being assertive and ensure you are heard. If this is scary to you, reach out because there is support.

Do not keep avoiding the problem; that is not the answer. The first step may be to understand yourself a little more and to do that you can uncover your Communication strengths, style and struggles with our online course. It costs as much a takeaway pizza, so it is well worth it! You can find out more here.

Until next time Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Are you struggling with a procrastinator?

4:18 pm

Patient communicators … can struggle with procrastination.

In strength, this steady gentle style is one that is warm, welcoming, all about relationship and somewhat more reserved than the playful or powerful styles. However, they can really struggle with procrastination, they like to change at their pace, if at all.

What makes a Patient Communicator Difficult? Well it is their avoidance of change or conflict. Particularly if you need to get something done and they put up their walls….. this can be very frustrating. However becoming frustrated or aggressive will not result in an outcome, they will just burrow deeper. One of the most common misconceptions about the Patient Communicator is that they are a push over. Far from it, they have a backbone of steel! They may agree with words but they will not follow through so pushing is not the answer.

These guys are all about consistency, predictability and people. There is no doubt you would have someone with this style in your life, as this is the most common communication style (around 35% of the population).

Patient communicators are described as the glue that holds us all together. While the Powerful style is trying to control things and make decisions the Playful style is all about fun, the Perfectionist is all about things being right, the Patient style is consistent, caring and loyal.

The Patient style craves predictability, they love processes if someone else sets them up, they will follow the right leader to the very end, and they are committed to their cause. They will work quietly without the bells and whistles to get the job done.

Don’t expect noise and fan fare. They are reliable and work to a slower and steadier pace. They will not cause an uproar and are not likely to speak out against things. These guys will avoid conflict like the plague, are slower to speak up and want everyone to get along.

I am surrounded by this gentle style, as it is the complete opposite to my powerful and perfectionistic traits. This style is calm, serene, and peaceful. They don’t get easily flustered and have the best poker face around (they rarely show their emotions on the outside).

When this style is understood they are a loyal team member; they promote calm and stability and will work tirelessly for a cause. When misunderstood they can seem quiet, uninvolved, avoidant even passive aggressive.

Change is a really big issue for this communicator, they crave consistency even if it is destructive. They are quite like the ostrich putting their head in the sand thinking the issue will just go away. As you may imagine, facing an issue and trying to work through with this style, can be extremely difficult. The harder you push the more they shut down.

However, as it is with all of the styles each of us brings our own unique strengths to the table. The patient and stable style brings about much needed calm and consistency, without them it would feel like utter madness.

The key, if you relate to this, is to realise that procrastination can be a real problem. It stems from your dislike of change. If you struggle with the idea of change a good place to start is firstly to know this, then to look at change in a few different ways, including the positive side of it.

So if you are struggling for outcomes with one of these communicators here are some tips;

To help them deal with change the key is gentle support, they do not respond to harsh, blunt or pushy communication. They want to be spoken to in a helpful supportive manner. They also need time to process ideas. They are not as quick to do things as the Powerful or Playful Communicators. So you may say something like “I have noticed the blah project is falling behind, can we sit down together and go through some ways we can work together to get it back on track? I have time on Wednesday or Friday can you let me know when will work for you?” The give them time to respond. All of this must be done with open supportive and calm body language and a warm tone.

The most important thing for these guys is to be supported, to have a friendly response and for you to keep your tone warm and your face smiling. Don’t be mean or speak down to them, this will force them to shut down and will not aid a better connection.

Do not keep avoiding a problem if you have one; that is not the answer. The first step may be to understand yourself a little more and to do that you can uncover your Communication strengths, style and struggles with our online course. It costs as much a takeaway pizza, so it is well worth it! You can find out more here.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator.

Let’s change our world for the better one conversation at a time

Are you dealing with a chatterbox?

4:11 pm

Have you ever had to deal with a Chatterbox? Someone who loves to talk, tell stories and uses many more words than necessary? They are lovely but if you are short on time, or impatient it can be tricky. Their catch cry is, “look at me, like me, appreciate me!”

Last time we spoke about Powerful Communicators, today we will talk about Playful communicators. The Playful communicator is one that is warm, fun and engaging. These guys are all about relationship and having fun. If you know someone with this style they can range from warm and friendly to zany and the life of the party.

What makes a Playful Communicator Difficult? It can be their zany, crazy, chaotic, fun loving energy that may drive some people mad.

This style does not care so much for organisation, rules, processes, work – it is simply not colourful or fun enough. As you can imagine, if you work with this style and don’t understand them, you could be having some frustrations. These guys are very good at motivating and energising people to do the work, not necessarily doing the work themselves. They can be easily distracted by something that is bright and shiny!

I am surrounded by the Playful style; I think it is because I am so driven and full of order and work that I need help to lighten up. My husband is Playful and he will often grab me when I am in the middle of working just to tell me a joke or get me to watch a silly cartoon. He brings so much laughter into my life. I do remember noticing initially that ‘I’ could see this interruption as inconvenient. Especially when I was in the middle of something I needed to finish or achieve. Then I realised that I was prioritising my work, my achievement over a beautiful connection with my husband, so I changed my focus. I saw him in all of his beautiful fun loving nature and I connected with him. Oh what a good decision!

When this style is understood they make such great friends and teammates, when misunderstood they can seem selfish and self-centred. Like all of the styles we need to understand the differences and work on how we can best unite to bring out the best in all of us. We all bring something special and unique to the work and home environment.

So if you are struggling for airtime with one of these communicators here are some tips;

To keep them on track you need to speak up and be firmer with your boundaries. You can say things like, “I’d love to hear this story but I need to be in a meeting now, so please tell me later”. Or by making it sound like a friendly and fun game, “give it to me in 5 words or less.” This is a great way if you know them really well.

The most important thing for these guys is to be noticed, to have a friendly response and for you to keep your tone warm and your face smiling. Don’t be mean or speak down to them, this will hurt their feelings and will not aid a better connection.

Do not keep avoiding the issue if one exists; that is not the answer. The first step may be to understand yourself a little more and to do that you can uncover your Communication strengths, style and struggles with our online course. It costs as much a takeaway pizza, so it is well worth it! You can find out more here.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator.

Let’s change our world for the better one conversation at a time.

What makes someone difficult?

3:59 pm

One of the most popular questions I get is how do you deal with a Difficult person? Each of you almost everyday will come across someone you find difficult to some degree.

Perhaps that are bossy, or talkative, maybe they don’t say anything and you need them to speak up or perhaps they are pedantic and get caught up in the details. Either way they are not doing what you need them to do and its PAINFUL…….

Managing how we respond in these moments is critical to the outcomes you will get. As you may imagine, getting frustrated, short fused, impatient with someone that you are finding difficult is only going to add to the problem you face.

It is critical for us to approach this age-old problem from a different angle. I firmly believe that coming from a place of understanding is a much more helpful way to approach someone you are finding difficult.

We can start this by stopping and recognizing what is it that I am actually struggling with here? Is it their behavior, their attitude, are they reminding me of something I don’t like? Am I stressed out because my wants and needs are not being met? Is it all of the above?

Many of us even though we are adults can get stuck in this place of selfishness, “I need this right now and I am not getting what I want so I am going to get cranky”. We have all been there. Acknowledging this is part of helping ourselves learn a better way.

I truly believe that most people are not difficult……. Wait…. What???? Seriously? Yup, I actually believe that most people are not DIFFICULT, they are DIFFERENT.

Not different as in weird, simply different to you.

For example, on most days I am in a hurry, not because I am late, but because I am the type of person that just likes to get things done, I am an “achiever.” I do not know why it is just how I am made. It is a trait of the Powerful Communicator, “ get it done, get it done fast, and then do the next thing.

So as you can imagine if I am going about my day and I need to interact with someone who does not have the same priority on time and achievement as me, there can be some tension. Before I was aware of this and how it affected me, I would just see someone in my proximity moving slowly and my eye would begin to twitch. It frustrated me, because I did not want it to affect my progress.

Now that I am much more attuned to this need in me I can separate myself from it most days and even have a chuckle at how crazy my need for speed is…….

This need for speed has been a gift at times, I am extremely efficient and achieve loads, BUT……….. I have paid a very high price for this in terms of my health. So much so that my poor body has been screaming at me for years to slow down and I ignored it. So what ended up happening???? I developed chronic illness, including chronic fatigue……. My body was forcing me to S…L…O…W D…O…W…N

I remember years ago on my first trip to FIJI. Man I needed it, talk about verge of burn out…… Yes us achievers are not good at resting and slowing down and unfortunately have to experience things like burn out or illness before we get the message to fill the tank and look after ourselves.

It took me at least 4 days to begin to slow down in this tropical paradise. Every time I sat by the pool I would start mentally going through a to do list, should I plan or read that self development book or set my intentions for the next 12 months…………. Far out brussel sprout!!

I would find myself becoming tense as I watched the locals slowly meander around the resort and a snails pace (otherwise known affectionately as FIJI time) and my blood pressure would rise. I felt like screaming move faster! How completely ridiculous. In a moment of clarity I relapsed what I was doing to myself and just how crazy it was, why was I rushing? What deadline was in my mind? Why is faster better??? You know what it isn’t……….. Sometimes slower is the way to go.

So realising what your needs are, what is driving you and then seeing how whenever a person comes into conflict with this we see them as difficult. This is really the beginning of a healthier shift in dealing with people in a more helpful way.

You will slam into people that are different to you on a daily basis so the most helpful thing I have found is to first understand yourself and your needs and then begin to understand others. So we will begin but looking at each of the Communication DNA styles so you can begin to see where you might be and also where those you struggle with might be. From this place we can put more helpful responses in place when you are struggles with someone that is different to you.

If you would like some background reading on the Communication DNA styles then you can read about each one here;

In coming posts we will continue venture into the world of each style and what may make them difficult.

Until next time Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Your options when it comes to dealing with difficult people

7:00 am

Your options when it comes to dealing with difficult people are many. You can avoid, procrastinate, blame, whine, cry, shake, gossip…. ( I am sure there is many more) or you can take a deep breath and do what needs to be done.

Kenny Rogers had it right.

“Know when to hold them, know when to fold them. Know when to walk away and know when to run”. If you are saying “Kenny who” I am showing my age. I will be positive and say that this implies wisdom on my behalf!

Difficult people are all around us. You cannot avoid them! In fact, there is someone somewhere in the world that finds you difficult. Weird huh?

The key to dealing with difficult people is be aware of how it affects you, to be aware of your own responses, to maintain emotional control and to ensure that you are working for the best outcome. This is not about control or manipulation but about choice. We all choose our behavior and also our responses.

In dealing with difficult people, there are times when the best thing to do is let it go (for example, if the person is unlikely to listen or change). There are also times when it is best to speak up confidently and assertively (for example if someone at work is disrespecting you). There are also times when you need to look after yourself because the person is unlikely to change (the overly needy friend who always takes and never gives).

I was dealing with a very aggressive person recently. This person was known to Police and was involved in drugs. This person did not want my assistance and made it very clear. There were some legal reasons that I was asked to be involved to provide this person with their right to support.

Despite my best intentions this fellow would verbally threaten, yell abuse and generally disrespect me each time we met. It was clear that after only a few encounters this person was not going to change and that my time and energy was best served by working with someone who did want my support. This is what I mean when I say “pick your battles, look after yourself and realise that each of us are self responsible.”

So I made the decision to tell him that I would no longer be working with him. I also told the referring party that I would no longer be seeing this gentleman as he was not invested in the process and it was a waste of everyone’s time and energy.

Sometimes you MUST stand up for yourself.

This can be a hard idea to swallow if you feel over responsible, if you have ever enabled someone in your life. The bottom line is that each of us are accountable for our own outcomes.

Your difficult person may be telling you that if you don’t help them they won’t cope. The truth is, the best gift you can give them is by believing in them, empowering them and allowing them to do things independently.

If you are struggling then we are here to help. Dealing with a difficult person can be lonely, it can provoke feelings of anxiety and fear, but this is not how it has to stay. You don’t need to struggle any more, you are not alone, some simple steps can make all the difference. I’ve been where you are and I’m here to support you in making the changes you need to create the life and the relationships you have always wanted.

If you would like to stay connected why not join us on Facebook. Here we share more resources, stories and encouragement to help you become the Communicator you would like to be.

We also have an online course that is specifically designed for this reason. This course is designed to help you understand the needs of others and how to best deal with people in difficult situations and circumstances. Most often difficult people are just different from you. Learn what works and what doesn’t work for each of the different Communication DNA styles. Want to know more?

Until next time, care, connect and be a Courageous Communicator.

Let’s improve the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Dealing with Difficult People without anxiety and fear

3:30 pm

How can you Deal with Difficult People without anxiety and fear? It is all about better understanding.

Have you ever had that awful sinking feeling whenever you’ve had to deal with a difficult person? Have you ever not wanted to go to work or avoided social occasions because a particular person was there? Difficult people and difficult conversations are a part of life; you cannot avoid them. What will help you is a set of skills that will reveal a new way to approach this very common problem.

Difficult people are usually difficult because they are different to us in some way. What this means is that we have less in common and we do not understand them. For example you may be a “get into it and have a go” kind of person and the person you are struggling with is holding back and not getting involved. The more you encourage or push the more they withdraw.

Perhaps you are a quiet listener and you are dealing with someone who seems to hog the limelight and the conversation. Maybe you are kind and gentle and are forced to deal with someone who is so blunt and pushy you cannot stand it.

Did you know that we are all different in how we see the world and how we come across? Despite the differences there are some patterns to how we behave and interact with others.

I’ve been working with people and teams for over 15 years now and have come to specialize in the very common world of miscommunication. I only work with people who want to improve communication or performance through better connections and understanding.

Over the years it has become very plain to me that all of us struggle from time to time with people. Either they confuse us, frustrate us and even scare us because they do things differently. When this happens the majority of people get upset, stressed and when this happens we can no longer communicate effectively.

To help you cope with this very common problem, it is essential to first begin to understand yourself and what makes you tick. I call this your Communication DNA. You can read more about that here

The best advice I can give in order to begin building this communication muscle for dealing with difficult people is;

Learn to understand yourself – then and only then will it become clear what makes you tick and what you struggle with, you will definitely find patterns ( eg, perhaps for you it’s the talker, or the bossy person, or the clean freak or the avoider, we all have someone)

Learn how to manage your emotions – this is a biggie and I am currently putting an online course together on this so that you can learn this is that is something you want Master. Once our emotions get away fromus we all become awful communicators. Learning how to stay calm and in control base don your needs is critical.

Begin to understand others – again a key skill. Seriously once you realise that all of us behave they way we do because of who we are you will stop taking things personally. When you do not take things personally it becomes so much EASIER. Next time you deal with a difficult person you will find you can now handle it more effectively – “ it’s not me it is just how they do things, no what can I do to help this conversation…”

Now I am a natural problem solver, so if your are really struggling with someone then why not download our free handbook on How to Deal with Difficult people. If you haven’t already you can access it here

If you want to know;

§ What makes certain styles difficult,
§ How to best deal with difficult people,
§ Ways to communicate so that you can best get your message across,
§ Learn how to best communicate with different communication styles,
§ Learn helpful ways to manage stress and emotions

Then this course is for you. Want to know more?

You don’t need to struggle any more, you are not alone, some simple steps can make all the difference. I’ve been where you are and I’m here to support you in making the changes you need to create the life and the relationships you have always wanted.

Until next time, care, connect and be a Courageous Communicator.

Let’s improve the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Feeling stressed in Your Business?

10:44 am

As a Business owner I am sure you can relate to the idea of Stress. Stress can come from many places, working long hours, poor cash flow, staff issues, too much work, feeling like you are doing everything yourself, tension in your personal life, feeling like there is not enough of you to go around.

Unfortunately, stress is one of those things that you simply cannot afford to ignore. Stress simply does not go away through ignoring it; in fact it grows!

We have spoken many times about the cost of poor communication. It has been shown in research to cost up to 32% of profit. For a business making $500K pa, this is $160K, that’s not small change.

So you have a business and there are issues, perhaps management is not perceived as approachable, perhaps there is relational tension as different staff clash with each other, perhaps staff don’t feel valued or understood.

Gallup found that 95% of staff will leave a job due to problems with either their boss or co workers. This is that relational stuff they feel just can’t be solved.

The sad thing is that many times they either haven’t tried, because they believe it won’t change anything, or they don’t have the skills to have these hard conversations. We have all been there, it just feels too hard and we believe that the grass is greener on the other side.

Now it may be, but what happens when you come up against the same issues in a new workplace? Isn’t it better to have the skills to deal with it when it happens again? It is not that difficult, I promise.

So, Poor communication costs the Business owner in many ways;

Low productivity
Poor engagement
Bad Customer service
Low Morale
Wasted time
Stress
A Leadership gap
Poor retention
The costs of new hire

I am surprised that the cost to business is not higher than 32%. When you look at the list above it may surprise you too. However, every business is different and will face a combination of the issues listed above.

Over coming posts we will tease out these issues and go deeper into how they may be affecting your business and what you can do about it.

The real cost of poor communication is hard to measure as many businesses don’t have measures in place to capture this. From my perspective the most important thing is to understand the foundation cause of the issue. For example if it is productivity, is it because staff don’t feel motivated, are not supported, are confused, are working without the resources they need, do not know what to do. There are many layers and it is critical to understand what is going on so you can address it and fix the problem.

You go into business to kick goals, have some freedom, create a legacy, do what you love and make a difference so let’s make it happen!

We are here to resource you so that you can create the business of your dreams, kick those goals, create a highly productive team and future-proof your business.

If you have questions you can get in contact via our website or our Facebook page. Don’t keep struggling alone, there are answers, there is support. You can create a team that is productive and engaged and create a business that is profitable. If you would like support to grow your business with a Communication Strategy unique to your needs you can get in touch or check out our online courses.

Until next time Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.

Let’s grow your business one conversation at a time.

3 Communication Hacks to Take your Communication to the Next Level

7:00 am

Next level communication is all about knowing where you are at and improving an aspect of your communication. You may be a great listener, and need to speak up. Perhaps you are great at telling people what you need but need to be better at asking and bringing people alongside you.

All of us can benefit from better communication. Right? When was the last time you can remember feeling misunderstood in conversation? If you are like me it used to feel like most days….

Poor Communication can costs business big time, up to 32% of profit. It can ruin relationships. Understand the keys to better communication and you can unlock a hidden profit centre in your business.

Learning to understand yourself and then others as Communicators and you will be well one your way to improving your Communication and productivity. It starts with understanidng your needs as a Communicator, or your Communication DNA

So, how can you understand your Communication DNA? If Communication DNA is a new term for you, check out this video specifically about this concept, it will explain it fully for you. If you are interested in taking the DNA test then get in contact with us.

In 2015 Forbes magazine released research that detailed how we can see leadership based on 3 basic communication skills. These skills are how to Ask, Listen and Tell.

Leaders that have all 3 skills are seen by 88% of staff to be exceptional, whereas, Leaders with any one of these communication skills are seen by only 3% of staff as exceptional.

To become a Next Level Communicator you can master each of these skills. Let’s take a closer look at these 3 skills.

Firstly the ability to Ask. To ask is to communicate your needs and to clarify the needs of others. Asking means you are not guessing but gaining clarity. Basically it is speaking to gain more information.

To be a Next Level Communicator you need to stop assuming and simply ask. Assumption is very dangerous and will quickly take you down a dangerous road.

Each of the four communication styles copes with this skill differently. The more reserved styles of the Perfectionist and the Patient Communicators are more natural askers. However, they can still struggle. In coming articles I will outline this more.

Next let’s look at the skill of Listening. This is such a crucial Next Level communication skill.

To listen is to stop speaking, be present and take in information both verbal and non-verbal that is coming from the person you are communicating with. In communication Listening is a lost art form. Particularly in our very fast paced and busy worlds.

Listening is a rare skill, many people speak rather than listening. The best Communicators around the world are excellent listeners. Listening is crucial to your communication. It allows you to understand where someone else is at; you gain understanding and clarity.

Each of the four communication styles copes with this skill differently. The more reserved styles of the Perfectionist and the Patient Communicators are more natural listeners. However, they can still struggle. In coming articles I will outline this more.

Finally, lets look at the skill of Telling. To tell is to share your idea, share with people your needs, or direct people. Many people do not feel comfortable to “tell” as they feel it is too direct and confrontational. However, this is all in the delivery.

Many people fear telling as it is seen as confrontational. The opposite is not telling and making people guess your needs. This is as dangerous as assuming.

Next Level Communication requires you to be able to Tell when necessary. When you can master Telling people your needs in a way that is seen as informative rather than confrontational you are well on the way to taking your Communication to the next level.

Each of the four communication styles copes with this skill differently. The more outgoing styles of the Powerful and the Playful Communicators are more natural tellers. However, they can still struggle. In coming articles I will also outline this more.

These three skills are essential to you becoming a more confident Communicator and taking your communication to the next level.

If you would like to understand yourself as a Communicator and learn your strengths then perhaps you may like to read The Enlightened Communicator, available for you to review at your own pace.

If you would like to know more about how to learn what your Communication DNA we can work with you to assist you to understand exactly what it is that makes you tick. We can also help you understand what makes others tick and how to get the best out of your relationships. Interested? You can get more information here.

You can also get in touch via our website, and Facebook so please join the conversation, we would love to hear from you!

If you are part of a team that struggles with these skills then reach out and see how we can tailor a solution for your unique situation.

Until next time, Care Connect and be a Conscious Communicator

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

3 Communication Hacks for Better Connection in your Personal Relationships

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Would any of you in relationship (either friends or romantic) benefit from better communication? When was the last time you can remember feeling misunderstood by your partner? Frustrating isn’t it?

Communication is the oxygen to our relationships. Poor Communication causes up to 68% of relational breakdown. That is a scary statistic and can so easily be remedied. Understand the keys to better communication and you can ensure that your relationship will be more connected, resilient and happier. Regardless of what is happening in your world you can communicate effectively stay strong and stay connected. How great does that sound?

However, your relationship will only benefit from you both learning to understand themselves and then others as Communicators and you will be well one your way to improving your Communication and productivity.

The best Communicators know what makes them tick, they know their Communication DNA, what makes them who they are, what makes them tick.

So, how can you understand you Communication DNA? If Communication DNA is a new term for you, check out this video specifically about this concept, it will explain it fully for you.

In 2015 Forbes magazine released research that detailed how we can see leadership based on 3 basic communication skills. These skills are how to Ask, Listen and Tell.

Leaders that have all 3 skills are seen by 88% of staff to be exceptional, whereas, Leaders with any one of these communication skills are seen by only 3% of staff as exceptional.

Now you might say you are not a leader however, anyone who wants to influence others positively is certainly a leader.

Let’s take a closer look at these 3 skills. Firstly, the ability to Ask. To ask is to communicate your needs and to clarify the needs of others. Asking means you are not guessing but gaining clarity. Basically it is speaking to gain more information.

Many relationships are based on assumption rather than asking. Assumption is very dangerous and will quickly take you down a dangerous road.

Next let’s look at the skill of Listening. To listen is to stop speaking, be present and take in information both verbal and non-verbal that is coming from your friend or partner. In communication Listening is a lost art form. Particularly in our very fast paced and busy worlds.

Listening is a rare skill, many people speak rather than listening. Listening is crucial to your communication. It allows you to understand where someone else is at; you gain understanding and clarity. Also, if you are a good listener people automatically think you are an awesome communicator.

Finally, lets look at the skill of Telling. To tell is to share your idea, share with people your needs, your feelings or to direct someone. Many people do not feel comfortable to “tell” as they feel it is too direct and confrontational. However, this is all in the delivery.

The opposite is not telling and making people guess your needs. This is as dangerous as assuming. When you can master Telling people your needs in a way that is seen as informative rather than confrontational you are well on the way to becoming an exceptional communicator.

These three skills are essential to you becoming a more confident Communicator and taking your communication and your relationship to the next level.

If you would like to understand yourself as a Communicator and learn your strengths then perhaps you may like to read The Enlightened Communicator, available for you to review at your own pace.

You can also get in touch via our website, and Facebook so please join the conversation, we would love to hear from you!

Until next time, Care Connect and be a Conscious Communicator

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.