Each of the Styles has their own challenge with difficult conversations or speaking up.  This is because each of the communication styles has their very own strengths and struggles.

For example, if you are a “Powerful and Direct” communicator you won’t usually shy away from such conversations, however you can be quite blunt and the results may not always be great.  You may be happy but the poor scarred person left behind may have a different version.

If you are a more Enlightened “Powerful and Direct” communicator you may avoid conversations for fear or concern of causing offence in another, saying to yourself “they may not cope with my upfront style, so its best not to say anything”.  This often does not work for you as not saying anything is sure to drive you nuts and you can become snippy and sarcastic and you try to deal with all of this unsaid material.  There is a safer middle ground to be found.

If you are the “Playful and Influencing”  communicator you may avoid such conversations for fear of not being liked by the other.  Social rejection is a strong  fear of yours so you would rather say something empty and nice because if you are truthful they may not like you anymore.  How can you possibly tell your friend something they may take offence too, they may not be your friend anymore.  Again, not very useful.

If you are the “Patient and Steady” communicator.  You may not speak up because you fear conflict above all.  You would rather poke your eyes with a stick than speak up and say that someone has done the wrong thing.  You crave harmony however, what you don’t realise is that you are creating further stress for yourself and allowing people to walk all over you by keeping your silence.

If you are the Analytical and detail oriented “Perfect and Conscientious” communicator you may not speak up for fear of being wrong.  You like to be completely sure you are right before questioning anyone after all you seek perfection.  The problem is if you don’t speak up you become so frustrated that things are not being done correctly.  You can become overcritical and create a huge amount of tension in your relationships as a result.

In coming issues we will go through the steps to having those difficult conversations and the elements required to ensure that you get a good result from tricky conversations.  This does not mean that everyone agrees all of the time, but it does mean that you can speak honestly, that so can others, and only in this environment can your relationships truly flourish.

If you can relate to some of these issues mentioned in this blog, if you lack confidence, wish you were more assertive or would like to understand your communication style more then check out our upcoming workshop in Sydney “Master the Art of Difficult conversations”.   More information will be coming soon

Connect, Care and Be Conscious.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.