fear

Your Most Significant Conversation Part 5

11:00 am

40-turn-the-pageWe have spent time speaking about your most significant conversation.  Last time you were introduced to your chatter box.  This is the unrelenting chatter that is with you 24/7.  The voice in your head.  This is without doubt your most significant conversation.  If you haven’t read this then check it out here.  We then delved into fear and how this fuels the chatter, you can check that out here.

Then we talked about understanding your chatter.  What are your fears?  What holds you back?  You can check that out here.  Last time we spoke about having a good old CHAT with yourself and challenging the chatter so that you can achieve your goals, you can refresh your memory on this here.

To challenge the chatter all you need to do is FLIP IT!

Yep, that’s what I said, FLIP IT!  All you do is grab that negative chatter, which in essence is a “What if?” followed by a negative statement – “What if I don’t lose weight?”

FLIP IT – “How great am I going to feel when I reach my goal, I feel stronger, I have more energy and I didn’t give up.”

“What if I make this call and they say No?”

FLIP IT – “How proud will I feel when I get this call done, regardless of the outcome I am getting better and better, soon I will be achieving my goals.  I will no longer fear a No.  If I don’t make the call the answer is always no!”

All you need to do is work out what you are saying to yourself that is causing the fear and turn it around to a more encouraging statement.  I know it sounds too easy, and it really is.

Most of the time we are walking around unaware that this negative chatter is driving our behavior.  This is one of the reasons it is your most significant conversation.  By shining a light on it there is nowhere to hide, you have the keys to turn things around and have the life you dream of.   All it takes is a few simple steps in the right direction.

Don’t be a slave to the negative chatter anymore, have a CHAT with yourself, FLIP IT and before you know it, you will be achieving more than you realised was possible

Until next time,

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time. smilie face

Your Most Significant Conversation Part 4

10:00 am

chatWhat is your most significant conversation? I believe it is the unrelenting chatter in your head.  This is a unrelenting and misunderstood significant conversation may don’t even know about. Last time you were introduced to your chatter box.  This is the unrelenting chatter that is with you 24/7.  The voice in your head.  If you haven’t read this then check it out here.  We then delved into fear and how this fuels the chatter, you can check that out here.

Then we talked about understanding your chatter.  What are your fears?  What holds you back?  You can check that out here.

Fear fuels the chatter if you let it go unchecked.

But the amazing fact is;

“Whatever you tell yourself, you’re right!”

So whether you are telling yourself you are an awesome public speaker, or you are telling yourself you suck, you’re right!

This is where you need to challenge the chatter.  Catch yourself mid chatter and define the nature of the chatter.  Is it helping me or hindering me?  A helpful chatter sounds like, “You know you can do this, just keep going, you’ve got this”.

Unhelpful chatter sounds like, “Who do you think you are?  This will never work, of course you are going to stuff this up!”  Which chatter is more inspiring?

Once you have CAUGHT yourself – C

Determined is it HELPFUL or HINDERING you – H

You can take ACTION – A

And TAME THE CHATTER – T

Then you have used the 4 step process – C H A T.  You have had a good old chat with yourself to ensure you master your chatter and achieve those things you have been aiming for.  This process becomes quite fast with practice.  You find yourself checking in and challenging the chatter whenever it is not helpful.

Next time we will talk about how to challenge the chatter further.

Until next time,

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time. smilie face

Your Most Significant Conversation Part 3

10:58 am

fearLast time you were introduced to your chatter box.  That ongoing significant conversation with yourself.  This is the unrelenting chatter that is with you 24/7.  The voice in your head.  If you haven’t read this then check it out here.  We then delved into fear and how this fuels the chatter, you can check that out here.

Today we talk about understanding your chatter.  What are your fears?  What holds you back?

There are a few trending fears such as fear of failure, fear of rejection and fear of success.  We all have fear of something.  The amazing thing is we are only born with 2 fears, and these were all about survival.

They are the:

– Fear of loud noises

– Fear of falling

Every other fear has been imprinted on to us.  Whether we have witnessed or experienced a trauma or learned a fear from observing someone we love, we all have expanded on the list we were born with.  Some many times over.

So this is key to Taming your chatter, get your significant conversation working for you not against you- you need to know what you are really afraid of.  Once you begin to delve into it, you can actually begin to work with it and rewire it to be helpful and an action point.

For example, you may be a small business owner.  You need to make calls to grow your business, however you avoid the phone like the plague.  That thing grows hair and growls whenever you need to make a sales call – why?

Perhaps it’s a fear of failure or of success?  Only you can answer this one.  The thing is, once you expose this to the light of day, it isn’t as scary any more.  Also, once you are aware of what drives you, you are in a position to take action.  For example, if you know that it is fear of failure that makes you avoid the phone you can take charge.

Set some goals around the number of calls you need to make to get so damn good on the phone.  Practice, practice practice, no one got great without it.

Set some goals and rewards for when you do the work.

Next time we will talk about how to “Check your chatter,” how to ensure that you are challenging the lies your chatter box will try and tell you.  Mastering this ongoing significant conversation is a real game changer.

Until next time,

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time. smilie face

Your Most Significant Conversation Part 2

10:57 am

Clear-Sense-Of-PurposeLast time you were   introduced to your chatter box.  This is your most significant conversation.  This is the unrelenting chatter that is with you 24/7.  The voice in your head.  If you haven’t read this then check it out here.

This chatter is present for all of us.  No one is without the chatter.  The first and biggest key is to be aware that it is happening.  After your awareness has been raised, it then is all about understanding the chatter box and it’s nature.

As humans we tend to be wired for fear, this comes back to our heritage.  We used to need fear to ensure our survival.  However, fear is no longer our biggest threat, we no longer need to dodge the sabre toothed tiger.

The chatter box is fueled by fear.  To begin to rewire and take charge of the chatter, you need to define your purpose;  why do you do what you do.  Particularly, do you have some goals you would like to achieve?  If you are not aware, the chatter can bring your best efforts undone.

Being in touch with your purpose gives you the edge over your fear – you have something worth fighting for.  You can make this significant conversation work for you, not against you!

The last thing you need is to set a goal and then have your chatter run amok telling you, “Who the heck are you?  You can’t do this!  You’re a loser. Remember last time you tried to <lose weight> <make a sales call> <go for a new job> <have a difficult conversation> (insert most appropriate), you FAILED!”  Helpful little voice isn’t it?

You need to know your purpose, your why.  When your why is strong enough you will push past the fear, you can argue with the chatter and turn it around for your benefit.

A very powerful exercise you can do to ensure you know your why is to imagine yourself in 12 months to 3 years time and having achieved your goal. Write down in present tense, being as descriptive as possible, what has happened, what you feel like, what you see.  This will really help you to create a powerful why.

Once your why is clear and strong enough, you are armed to begin to change the chatter.  In our next installment we will discuss how to challenge your chatterbox, because left untamed, your chatter is a Big Liar.

Until next time,

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time. smilie face