When two Powerful and Direct Communicators interact

We have discussed the Powerful and Direct communicator previously however here is a quick summary for you.  The Powerful and Direct communicator is after results, they don’t mess around, they are straight forward, task focused, they like to make decisions, are big picture thinkers and think their way is the ONLY way.  They can come across as aggressive, competitive, sometimes bossy and harsh.

However, they get loads done, are goal focused and won’t give in. I worked recently with a Personal Assistant (PA) who has this strong personality type.  She was a highly efficient PA and loved her job.  However, since starting with a new Boss, a CEO she had really struggled, she felt that she was not appreciated, she felt like she was being micro-managed and not trusted to do her job.

The CEO asked for my assistance because he felt his PA was not the right person for the job.  When we looked closer at the situation what was really going on was that there were two very strong D’s interacting and neither of them were aware of the cause of this tangible tension. The CEO being a naturally strong D felt that he knew exactly what he wanted.  He wanted a PA that he could tell  what to do and when to do it, he didn’t need to show appreciation it was her job right?  He found her difficult at times even argumentative, he did not like it when she did things without him asking her to.

In addition, when she tried to tell him how to do things it drove him mad. Her response to this tension at work was to work harder, as she did so she became so stressed, worked really long hours, without a great result.  Remember D’s are all about results so this caused her immense anxiety and frustration.  The harder she worked the worse things got;  she really did not know what to do.

When we identified that both of these characters had strong Powerful and Direct in their communication style and that their intentions were the same – to do the best job possible and get a great result,  they were able to harness their strengths. The CEO was able to realise he could trust his PA to do a great job, that he did not need to tell her everything, that she could have ownership over some aspects of her work.  That freed him up to get more done and take on more challenges (another thing a strong Powerful and Direct communicator loves).

The PA then felt she has control over some decisions which was what she needed, she felt appreciated and was able to step back and stop putting in fruitless long hours.  She also had to manage her stress which she did by exercising each day (an essential requirement for a stressed Powerful and Direct communicator).

What you’ll usually find when two strong Powerful and Direct communicator come head to head is that they will both try to gain control.  As they do this they become more and more ego-centric, strong willed, bull like and demanding.  Without insight this can continue and the results can be quite ugly.

It is much smarter for these two to work together, work out who controls what, concede in fairness so a win /win can result.  It is a much better way to spend your energy working together for a great result than fighting against each other.  There are enough challenges out there for us all to take on!

If you relate to this situation, perhaps you work with someone who is a Powerful and Direct Communicator, you may have trouble speaking with them. You may feel unable to bring up issues, concerns or feel heard by them.  If this is your experience then you may need to develop some key communication skills.  We are holding a one day workshop just for you in Sydney November this year all about “How to handle difficult conversations and get a good result!”   We will advise of details on the website soon so keep a look out, help is on the way!

Until next time, Happy Communicating!  Why not join me changing the world one conversation at a time?  (Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.)