I had a really interesting experience recently. I was working with a client who explained that there is a person they have to deal with often who is a very strong communicator.
They are likely a Powerful and Direct style who loves problems and challenges, craves Results, is very black and white and can come across as confrontational and even aggressive. Such people can be highly opinionated to the point where the only opinion that can exist in conversation with them is theirs!!
My client was really struggling because they had realised that this person was very good at saying “No” but did not hear when others said “No” to them. How interesting I thought so I wanted to share this with you all
Such a strong Communicator has absolutely no issue with boundaries and looking after their own interests. Most of them don’t even realise how much they can come across like a bully at times. They honestly think every one else finds it just as easy to say “No,” when needed.
However, here is where it gets interesting. Because they are such strong Communicators and can be so confrontational – usually people don’t actually say “No” to them! So they get this false sense of reality, that there are no issues and they go on their merry way.
When someone finally comes along that says “No” to them; they don’t even hear it. You actually have to say to them something like, “Sorry, I just said No, I don’t agree with that and you have not heard me.” Be persistent, they are!
Now I spend much of my training and coaching time helping people become more assertive. If this is you and you struggle with the idea of being assertive, you may be having a stroke right now at the thought of being so assertive and direct. In fact, many people I consult with are worried that they will seem rude and uncaring.
This is far form the truth and the amazing thing is, it works! Strong Communicators need to be Communicated in a strong and direct way. They get it and even more importantly they respect it. The trouble comes when people avoid them and are not direct with them.
One of the keys to great communication is adapting your style to your listener. So if you are reading this I am sure you are becoming more aware, more conscious and enlightened each day so you understand that even if confrontation scares the heck out of you, it is the best way to be understood by a Strong Communicator.
Best of all they don’t see it as confrontation, I promise. You are the only one struggling with this idea, not them. Just have a go, remember don’t be rude, be respectful, stick to the facts, use “I” messages, be assertive and you will get through to that Strong Communicator.
If you need help with these Communication skills, we can help! Check out our website by clicking here and drop us a line, or send an email and we can begin to resource you.
Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator. Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.
Lets change our world for the better one conversation at a time.
