Words schmerds

I am constantly entertaining myself with communication blunders. Seriously, the number of times I just get it wrong, I have to laugh, otherwise I would be crying.

Only this morning I was having some technical challenges with dropbox. I had a colleague trying to share something with me and for the life of me it would not work.

I even ask my “techspert” husband to have a look and he could not work it out either. That although frustrating, did make me feel a little better, it was not just me!!!

Finally, I decided to go old school and get on the phone and call the person who had sent me the link! Fancy that, actually calling someone to ask a question, I know radical!!

She answered the phone and I blurt, “I’m having such trouble with the x-box!” She was a supreme professional and did not even giggle. In the silence that followed I replayed the statement in my head and then blurted “I mean dropbox!”

I laughed which gave her permission to laugh also at my freudian slip. I had only been speaking that morning with my husband about what we can put in place to simplify our home life and get our son of the dreaded xbox.

So as we both laughed we sorted the problem out swiftly and with ease. Do you ever do this? Swap words and not even realise what you have done? I have to be honest, I do it all the time!

I do suffer form insomnia sometimes so I could put it down to lack of sleep. I think part of it is an external example of just how much is going on inside my brain. Possibly why the idea of serenity, peace, space and surrender appeal to me so much. It is the exact opposite to what is going on in reality in the 6 inches between my ears.

What can things like this teach us?

Firslty, don’t forget to talk to people, don’t rely heavily on email and texting. It is much quicker and more pleasant to have a conversation.

Secondly, slow down, breathe. Remove the last 20 things from your to do list and just stop and be present. Why are you rushing? Will someone die if you don’t get it finished? If the answer is “No” take a break, even for 5 minutes

Lastly, learn to laugh at yourself. I am always making goof ups and consequently the perfectionist in me has slowly been able to learn to relax a bit and at least laugh when I goof up. It is so much easier to deal with if you are able to relax and just have a giggle.

Take it easy and remember,

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.


Top 5 Communication Mistakes #4

The fourth of the top 5 mistakes is;

Not understanding that as Communicators we are different!

Unfortunately, the source of many of our communication problems is the gap!  I see the world one way and receive information one way, and you do it another way.  Its all ok just different.

Most of us automatically assume that everyone sees the world as you see it.  This is at such a subconscious level you won’t even realise that you are doing it.  We don’t know why someone dislikes our new hairstyle, or why someone might not like our colour scheme.  So, if you are a bottom line kind of person who does not fluff about at all, when you come into contact with a warm fuzzy person who could think of nothing better than shooting the breeze all day you may certainly go nuts.

You are different; you have different agendas, different needs, different likes and different ways of doing things.  Neither is right or wrong they are just different.

If you are a person who is quick to anger, you are likely quick to recover and move on.  However, if you are dealing with a person who is slower to anger, who takes on more, for a very long time….. When they finally get to boiling point (and they will!) they will take a long time to recover also.  Neither is right or wrong just different.  Understanding this fundamental principle of communication will make all of the difference – we are different, we have different needs and we communicate them – you guessed it – DIFFERENTLY!

Just being aware of this goes such a long way to bridging the gap.  When someone says or does something we don’t understand, instead of taking it personally or getting upset we are able to say, ok, so they see and do things differently to me.  Thats ok.  Then with a child like curiosity seek to understand it.

Next time we will look at the final mistake of the top 5 communication mistakes made everyday. If you have found this helpful please share it with someone who would benefit.

For tips, free resources and information on our upcoming Master class “The Art Of Difficult Conversations”  or check out our website at www.teamology.com.au

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Understanding the Playful and Influencing Communicator …

The Playful and Influencing communicator is one that is warm, fun and engaging.  These guys are all about relationship and having fun.  If you know someone with this style they can range from warm and friendly to zany and full of life, the life of the party.

This style does not care so much for organisation, rules, processes, work – it is simply not colourful or fun enough.  As you can imagine, if you work with this style and don’t understand them, you could be having some frustrations.  These guys are very good at motivating and energising people to do the work, not necessarily doing the work themselves.

I am surrounded by the playful and influencing style, I think it is because I am so driven and full of order and work that I need help to lighten up.  My son is a high “I” and he will often grab me when I am in the middle of working just to tell me a joke or get me to watch a silly cartoon.  He brings so much laughter into my life.

As you may imagine if I am focused and trying to get work done I can get quite frustrated with his attempts at humour.  However, I have since grown to appreciate the colour and life that he brings to our relationship, without his humour breaks it would be all work and no play!

When this style is understood they make such great friends and teammates, when misunderstood they can seem selfish and self-centred.  Like all of the styles we need to understand the differences and work on how we can best unite to bring out the best in all of us.  We all bring something special and unique to the work and home environments.

If you are a Playful and Influencing communicator and are struggling, checkout our resources page or contact us with your specific questions.  If your team is struggling to understand you, or you are having trouble learning how to give difficult feedback or deal with conflict then check out our resources.  Perhaps you have these skills, but your team may need to learn skills such as assertive communication, giving succinct messages and dealing effectively with conflict.   For training to learn more about your style, your strengths and how to get the most out of your workplace and relationships visit www.teamology.com.au

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.