Today I am going to let you inside the mind of a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator.  I want you to imagine that you too are a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator just for a short moment.  How do you feel when you are striving for perfection, to get things just right, and it seems no one else cares???

Every other style is probably saying “what for????”.  However the flustered, critical, perfectionist, organised Perfect and Conscientious communicator is thinking, “why not?, it must be perfect!!!”

Perfect and Conscientious Communicators are all about the TASK.  They are not focused on RELATIONSHIPS so much.  They come in way down the list.  The to do list, the need to be correct, organised and systemised are at the forefront of their mind.

I am sharing this with you so if you are living or working with this Communicator you can catch a glimpse of the world from their perspective.

Perfectionism is a recipe for delay, for unmet expectations and for procrastination.  You never make it because it will never be perfect.  It is also a recipe for frustration as you have impossibly high standards that need to be met, and cannot be.

I have struggled with perfectionism most of my life, more as an adult than as a child.  For me I think it came form a need to control.  However in reality, all I was controlling was my lack of progress.

Recently I have decided to let go of perfectionism and go for “progressionism”, a step in the right direction for me.  I remember a light bulb moment for me when someone was trying to offer me help.  I was particularly stressed at the time and so was aiming for perfect for sure.

I had no idea what it was like for the person trying to help, to feel like they did not measure up, to realise that no matter what it would not be good enough.  Bet you can guess what happened – they stopped helping.  At the time I was hurt, but now I can see why they did.

There are many other examples when the Perfect and Conscientious Communicator can get too caught up in the perfectionism of the TASK and forget about the impact on the people around them.

Perhaps fascinating to others, it is completely unintentional on their part.  So, if you are struggling with a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator, don’t take their perfectionism or criticism to heart.  They have a need to be organised and have a drive for perfectionism within them that is hard to understand.

If they behave in a way that does not seem appreciative, please don’t personalise it, they really don’t mean it.  Try to see what the task is they are trying to accomplish and their behaviour may make more sense to you.  Their criticism is really meant to be helpful.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.