The Conscientious Communicator And Emotion

P1030198v1The Perfect and Conscientious Communicator and emotion.  Lets just go back and be re acquainted with the lovely conscientious style.

This amazing style is all about procedures, processes and perfection.  The Perfect and Conscientious Communicator works to a system or order.  If there is not a good system they will develop their own system or order.  However, this style will work to someone else’s system or process if they agree with it, or if they see it as correct.  If their work is changed or corrected, they will ask why?  Their work is always completed to their base level of perfection so what could possibly need to be changed?

This communication style is all about getting things right.  If you know someone with this style, they are more reserved and task focused.  They are great at details, probably love stationary, (known from personal experience), and are highly organized in many ways.  They tend to work in highly technical or exacting work environments.

In workshops its evident who the Perfect and Conscientious style is as they are the ones who find any spelling errors or grammatical issues in any handouts or workbooks, (not that there is that many…..).  Gotta love them!

These guys are fearful of their work being criticized, how could they not be when perfection is their benchmark.  Beware of criticising their work as they put a lot of effort into it being right.  It hurts them intensely if they are corrected, especially if it is not done gently.

The emotion they show most often is worry or anxiety, they put a lot of pressure on themselves, you know, to be right, to be perfect.  It’s not easy; in fact it’s impossible.  On the surface this style may not seem to show emotion, they may come across as distant, even aloof, but they feel deeply.

So, if you are dealing with a Perfect and Conscientious communicator, be sure to be kind and respectful when you give feedback, be diplomatic and have your facts and figures straight.  Stop and think, what it is like for them to be expecting to be perfect all the time, what a burden.

Consequently, if they come across as judgmental or overly critical, they are actually trying to help.  It may not feel like it but that is their intention.

If you are a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator and you feel like sometimes you are misunderstood, why not learn more about your strengths and how others may perceive you?  It is such a great investment in yourself.  You can learn more by reading “The Enlightened Communicator”.  It can be purchased here.  Also keep an eye out for a new service we are introducing shortly on how to understand your style.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.


Inside The Mind Of A Perfect and Conscientious Communicator

27108661_l-289x300Today I am going to let you inside the mind of a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator.  I want you to imagine that you too are a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator just for a short moment.  How do you feel when you are striving for perfection, to get things just right, and it seems no one else cares???

Every other style is probably saying “what for????”.  However the flustered, critical, perfectionist, organised Perfect and Conscientious communicator is thinking, “why not?, it must be perfect!!!”

Perfect and Conscientious Communicators are all about the TASK.  They are not focused on RELATIONSHIPS so much.  They come in way down the list.  The to do list, the need to be correct, organised and systemised are at the forefront of their mind.

I am sharing this with you so if you are living or working with this Communicator you can catch a glimpse of the world from their perspective.

Perfectionism is a recipe for delay, for unmet expectations and for procrastination.  You never make it because it will never be perfect.  It is also a recipe for frustration as you have impossibly high standards that need to be met, and cannot be.

I have struggled with perfectionism most of my life, more as an adult than as a child.  For me I think it came form a need to control.  However in reality, all I was controlling was my lack of progress.

Recently I have decided to let go of perfectionism and go for “progressionism”, a step in the right direction for me.  I remember a light bulb moment for me when someone was trying to offer me help.  I was particularly stressed at the time and so was aiming for perfect for sure.

I had no idea what it was like for the person trying to help, to feel like they did not measure up, to realise that no matter what it would not be good enough.  Bet you can guess what happened – they stopped helping.  At the time I was hurt, but now I can see why they did.

There are many other examples when the Perfect and Conscientious Communicator can get too caught up in the perfectionism of the TASK and forget about the impact on the people around them.

Perhaps fascinating to others, it is completely unintentional on their part.  So, if you are struggling with a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator, don’t take their perfectionism or criticism to heart.  They have a need to be organised and have a drive for perfectionism within them that is hard to understand.

If they behave in a way that does not seem appreciative, please don’t personalise it, they really don’t mean it.  Try to see what the task is they are trying to accomplish and their behaviour may make more sense to you.  Their criticism is really meant to be helpful.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.