perfectionist

Inside The Mind Of A Perfect and Conscientious Communicator

5:53 pm

27108661_l-289x300Today I am going to let you inside the mind of a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator.  I want you to imagine that you too are a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator just for a short moment.  How do you feel when you are striving for perfection, to get things just right, and it seems no one else cares???

Every other style is probably saying “what for????”.  However the flustered, critical, perfectionist, organised Perfect and Conscientious communicator is thinking, “why not?, it must be perfect!!!”

Perfect and Conscientious Communicators are all about the TASK.  They are not focused on RELATIONSHIPS so much.  They come in way down the list.  The to do list, the need to be correct, organised and systemised are at the forefront of their mind.

I am sharing this with you so if you are living or working with this Communicator you can catch a glimpse of the world from their perspective.

Perfectionism is a recipe for delay, for unmet expectations and for procrastination.  You never make it because it will never be perfect.  It is also a recipe for frustration as you have impossibly high standards that need to be met, and cannot be.

I have struggled with perfectionism most of my life, more as an adult than as a child.  For me I think it came form a need to control.  However in reality, all I was controlling was my lack of progress.

Recently I have decided to let go of perfectionism and go for “progressionism”, a step in the right direction for me.  I remember a light bulb moment for me when someone was trying to offer me help.  I was particularly stressed at the time and so was aiming for perfect for sure.

I had no idea what it was like for the person trying to help, to feel like they did not measure up, to realise that no matter what it would not be good enough.  Bet you can guess what happened – they stopped helping.  At the time I was hurt, but now I can see why they did.

There are many other examples when the Perfect and Conscientious Communicator can get too caught up in the perfectionism of the TASK and forget about the impact on the people around them.

Perhaps fascinating to others, it is completely unintentional on their part.  So, if you are struggling with a Perfect and Conscientious Communicator, don’t take their perfectionism or criticism to heart.  They have a need to be organised and have a drive for perfectionism within them that is hard to understand.

If they behave in a way that does not seem appreciative, please don’t personalise it, they really don’t mean it.  Try to see what the task is they are trying to accomplish and their behaviour may make more sense to you.  Their criticism is really meant to be helpful.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

 

Help!! Why do I do that???

10:35 am

Help!!! Why do I do that??? This is a very common question I am asked.  As a speaker, trainer and consultant many times people say, “why do I do this?  Why do I talk too much?  Why am I so pushy? Why do I avoid people?  Why am I such a perfectionist?”

Being completely honest everyone has something they do that baffles them.  It may not have originated as an issue for you but it has surfaced in your relationships.  Whether at work or home, it causes you issues, pain, frustration.  Perhaps you have been told at work that you need to speak up and you just don’t know how.

Perhaps you have been told you can be selfish and when you hear this you are really confused because you really care about people and want to be liked.  Perhaps you have been told you are controlling and you think you are being helpful.

These are all valid concerns – each of another or us at one time or another has gotten less than positive results when we have been connecting with others.  Whether you have felt misunderstood, ignored, judged, baffled by the response of others, all of these experiences hurt.  Really hurt.  Each time you are hurt you are more likely to recoil and not try again.

Slowly but surely a gap forms.  This gaps grows and becomes harder and harder to close.  Soon you may feel unsure of how to connect with certain people, fearing a similar outcome.  You may avoid certain people or situations at work.  Perhaps you are not progressing through the ranks or accepting more responsibility due to this fear.   Perhaps you have lost a friendship or didn’t get that new job.

You are living beneath your potential!

How would you like to know what makes you tick and why you do what you do?  How would you like to know how to use these strengths to improve your relationships????

Amazing huh?  It’s so easy to do, you just first need to understand yourself and how to get the most from your strengths.  If you can relate to this and would like to know what you can do please check out our website for resources, training and encouragement.  You deserve to get that promotion, that new job, more responsibility, to be able to speak up and to say ‘No”.

At Teamology we are completely committed to your success so join us and learn more about your strengths as a communicator and maximise your unique potential.  Please share this with anyone you feel may be encouraged or may need some support.  Check us out on Facebook if you haven’t already and join our encouraging community.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Are you a perfectionist?

11:52 am

Are you a perfectionist, or do you know one? In terms of the Communication Styles, the Strong Perfect and Conscientious style is the one who is most likely to struggle with perfectionism. If you live with, work with or love a Strong Perfect and Conscientious,  you may be relating already.

Let me refresh your memory, the strong Perfect and Conscientious Communicator.  This amazing style is all about procedures, processes and perfection.  I prefer the word Analytical over Compliance as I have had many people in workshops become disillusioned by the word Compliance.

By Compliance we mean working to a system or order, not compliant.  Particularly to your own system or order however this style will work to someone else’s system or process if they agree with it, or if they see it as correct.

This communication style is all about getting things right.  If you know someone with this style they are more reserved and task focused.  They are great at details, probably love stationary (known from personal experience) and are highly organized in many ways.

These guys are fearful of their work being criticised, how could they not be when perfection is their benchmark.  However, beware of criticising their work as they put a lot of effort into it being right.  It hurts them intensely if they are corrected, especially if it is not done gently.

If you are working with someone for this style they will love details, if you challenge their facts you will need to provide statistical backup because they do know their stuff.  I know one Analytical person who reads the Australian Taxation website for fun (I have a headache just thinking about that).  They prefer a quiet and consistent work environment where any changes are explained, where they can be some type of technical expert.

So perfectionism is a big deal to these guys. REALLY. I know this because this is my second strongest trait and in testing I scored 87%.  This has long been held as a negative trait however, it can depend on your definition. In the negative it can stifle progress because you are expecting something unrealistic.  It can cause paralysis and anxiety beyond description.  It can mess with expectations both in there workplace and at home.

So how can we view this positively?  The Greek definition is “a continual journey toward maturity.”   Now this is not how I have used it, or how I would described myself when I am perplexed because something won’t look or fit the way I want it too.   However, I would be a better human if this were my definition.  So to any one else out there who is brave enough to say that you have struggled with perfectionism either in yourself or expecting it form other lets change how we see it.  We can all benefit from this definition of a continual journey toward maturity – I say bring it on!

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.