Your DNA as a Leader

So by now you may know your Communication DNA and even that of those people in your world that are important to you, or that you need to deal with.  If you are in a position of Leadership, which I believe all of you are in one form or another then understanding your strengths in Leadership is critical.

If you missed the information about Communication DNA check out this video specifically about this concept, it will explain it fully for you.

If you are interested in taking the DNA test then get in contact with us.

You might ask why is understanding Communication important in Leadership?  It’s because great Communication in Leadership is all about ensuring you are heard and understood.  It is about ensuring your message is heard, that you are able to influence positive behaviour and change.

Each style has the capacity to be a great leader, there is no one style that is better.  The key to great leadership is self awareness, understanding that others have different needs and motivators and being able to adapt your style so that you are understood by people even if they are very different to you.

The Powerful Communicator may be drawn to leadership because they love control and to make decisions.  They love to solve issues and attack problems but need to be aware of the body count they can create with their bulldog like ways.  They do not necessarily make the best leaders unless they are self aware and can adapt to the needs of others.

The Playful Communicator is magnetic, popular and charismatic however they also need to be able to harness their strengths and mitigate their challenges.  Being overly Optimistic can be a challenge as well as following through.  Again self awareness is key as well as being able adapt to the needs of others.

The Patient Communicator is gentle, approachable, an amazing listener, able to bring much needed calm to the storm.  However, they also need to be able to communicate confidently, speak up when required and deal with issues as they arise.

The Perfectionist Communicator is great at details process and ensuring that things are done right. In leadership they need to be able to step back and look at the big picture, realise that people will never be perfect and that this is ok.

With self awareness and the right support each of the styles can be an amazing Leader.  The key is knowing and using your strengths to maximize your relationships.  It is also being able to recognise and bring out the strengths in others.  Differences should unite not separate, together we can all achieve more.

If you would like to know more about your communication DNA then get in touch.  We have many options to begin this journey of self discovery including face to face coaching, online coaching and training.

We have coaching programs that can teach you all you need to know about your Communication DNA and how to take your Communication to the next level.

Becoming a more self aware Leader, taking your communication  to the next level will make such a positive impact on your ability to lead and influence others.   If you would like to understand yourself as a Communicator and learn your strengths then perhaps you may like to read The Enlightened Communicator, available for you to review at your own pace.

You can also get in touch via our website, and Facebook so please join the conversation, we would love to hear from you!

Until next time, Care Connect and be a Conscious Communicator

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

How does your Communication DNA affect your workplace?

Have you ever experienced poor communication at work?  I bet you have……. We all have.

One of the foundation problems is that most people do not know their needs as a Communicator, if you don’t know what you need how on earth can you ask for it?

The best Communicators know what makes them tick, they know their Communication DNA, what makes them who they are, what makes them tick.

So, how can you understand you Communication DNA and how this can affect you at work?

This is the foundation skill we teach to Communicators that want to improve their ability to communicate personally and professionally.  If Communication DNA is a new term for you, check out this video specifically about this concept, it will explain it fully for you.

Communication is not taught in schools, not at university, after a behavioural science and psychology degree I still did not know what my needs were as a communicator.

Where did you learn how to speak up? Apologise? Listen, give effective feedback, have a difficult conversation, motivate someone different from you?

If you don’t know your needs, then how can you know the needs of others?

Professionally we struggle at work to share ideas and negotiate our own needs, because we don’t understand ourselves or the needs of others.  Lets look at a typical business meeting;

The Powerful Communicator is driven like to take control, they are seen as a driver and is motivated by results.

The Playful Communicator tells stories is distracted and gets easily bored. They are story tellers, use many words to explain a quick point, and are seen as a talker. They need to be liked.

The Patient Communicator is quiet, agrees even if they don’t agree, and will not get involved in any perceived conflict, they are seen as a observer.  They crave harmony.

 The Perfectionist Communicator is into details, can be outrageously organised loves to do lists and is a neat person.  They are seen as an analyser and need to be Right.

Just imagine the chaos if you don’t understand each other?  The powerful push and make all the decisions, the playful tell stories and don’t really listen or come organised, the patient ones, sit and listen and don’t really get involved, while the perfectionist, gets stuck into the details gets frustrated that no one has done what they said they would do and in the end most people leave with the decision being made by the powerful communicator and everyone else feels unheard and frustrated.  And that is before we even get to the customers or clients!!!!!!!

Is it any wonder business loses over 30% of profit due to poor communication?  What can you do?  Know your strengths and know the strengths of those on your team

I have been there before, I have struggled, I have been misrepresented, confused people, offended people and not understood why until I understood my Communication DNA.

If you relate to this, what can you do?  Know your strengths and know the strengths of those on your team, learn what makes you who you are, what makes you tick, your strengths and challenges.

If you would like to understand yourself as a Communicator and learn your strengths then perhaps you may like to read The Enlightened Communicator, available for you to review at your own pace.

If you would like to know more about how to learn what your Communication DNA we can work with you to assist you to understand exactly what it is that makes you tick.  We can also help you understand what makes others tick and how to get the best out of your relationships.  Interested?  You can get more information here.

If you are part of a team that struggles with these skills or you are keen to take your Team’s Communication skills to a new level of capability then reach out and see how we can tailor a solution for your unique situation.

You can also get in touch via our website, and Facebook so please join the conversation, we would love to hear from you!

Until next time, Care Connect and be a Conscious Communicator

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Next Level Teamwork!

Learning how to deal with problems in Communication constructively.

Problem Solving in Communication is essential.  When we go off track, we get confused or emotions are high it is really important o get back on track as quickly as possible.

Problems or mistakes are a great learning opportunity and this is how they should be seen.  If you can create a culture where mistakes are seen this way you will have a much more willing team in terms of speaking up, problem solving and being creative.

So when something ahs gone wrong what do you do?

Identify the problem: It is important to ensure you work out the correct source of the problem, if not you may waste time and resources on the wrong issue

Define the problem: After the problem has been identified, it is important to fully define the problem so that it can be solved.

Develop a strategy: The next step is to develop a strategy to solve the problem. The approach used will vary depending upon the situation and the individual’s unique preferences.

 Organise information: Before coming up with a solution, we need to first organise the available information. What do we know about the problem? What do we not know? The more information that is available, the better prepared we will be to come up with an accurate solution.

Allocate resources: Before you begin to solve a problem, you need to determine how high priority it is. If it is an important problem, it is probably worth allocating more resources to solving it. If it is a fairly unimportant problem, then you may not want to spend too much of your available resources into coming up with a solution.

 Monitor progress: Effective problem-solvers tend to monitor their progress as they work towards a solution. If they are not making good progress toward reaching their goal, they will reevaluate their approach or look for new strategies.

 Evaluate the results: After a solution has been reached, it is important to evaluate the results to determine if it is the best possible solution to the problem.

A team that does this is so far ahead of the game.  Not only do they have a culture of people that are confident to have a go, not afraid of mistakes and willing to share and learn from each other.  It is such a great way to work.

As a business person there is nothing worse than there being an issue and no one is brave enough to speak up for fear of ridicule and judgment.  If you would like to learn how to add problem solving to your tool box for better communication why not get some coaching to learn how to based on your own unique Communication style or DNA?

If you would like to learn about Communication DNA and how it can change your workplace for the better, then check this out.

If you would like a obligation free chat to discuss how we may be able to support you on your journey to deal with difficult people then contact Kylie Warry on 1300 707 481 for more information or get in touch.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Better Workplace Communication Checklist

Workplaces are complex!  They are filled with Humans, how can they not be?

We are at work for one things and one thing only – to be productive.  Poor communication causes really low productivity.  Why? Think back to a time you have struggled in a workplace filled with really poor communication.  You would have struggled through long boring meetings, had many pointless conversations.  Struggled to find answers, not had relevant or helpful feedback from leadership and dealt with tension between colleagues.

All of this results in really poor productivity.  The worse it gets, the more the frustration grows and the less and less you produce.  Poor communication can cost up to 32% in profit.  So for a business turning over $500,000, that’s a significant $160,000!  Down the drain, but it does not have to be this way.

Here is my checklist for better workplace communication;

  • Know your intention before you communicate

Intention means purpose, know what you want before you open your mouth. Is it to encourage? To give constructive feedback, to apologise?  What is your intention?

  • Look for common ground within teams and workplace relationships

People feel more connected when there is common ground, in this way we are all the same.  If you are not sure what you have in common ask questions and then let them answer.  Be an awesome listener and before you know it you will be building trust and community

  •  Stop misinterpretation in its tracks

Creating a workplace culture where team members seek to both deliver instructions clearly and unambiguously, and where others feel free to ask questions to clarify, means communication can be corrected before the wrong instructions are carried out.

This also means that misinterpretations can be dealt with easily and early before they grow, cause tension and then conflict.

  • Understand your Communication DNA

Each of us has different styles of communication, this is what I call your Communication DNA.  To learn more about this here

 In order understand others you must first understand yourself, what makes you tick, why you do what you do.

  • Not knowing your own communication style and strengths

Each of us has our own unique style and strength as a Communicator.  You may be direct, a natural decision maker, or perhaps you are charming and influencing, perhaps you are a natural listener or maybe you love details and understanding why?

Understanding yourself means you will be really clear on what makes you tick, then you are able to understand what makes other tick.

From here it is possible to create a communication centered workplace culture that will have productivity soaring and engagement at it maximum.  If you would like to know how to create this type of culture then get in touch send us an email here.  Don’t put it off, you deserve to experience better communication.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

The Checklist – Next Level Communication Skills

So you would consider your self a competent and confident communicator?  You know your communication DNA, and can recognize the preferences of someone else.  You can then adapt to meet their needs in conversation.

That’s great, I sincerely applaud you, and this is no mean feat.  Well done!  I am sure everyone in your world appreciates your wonderful skills.

But wait there’s more; unfortunately in life and in communication we never arrive.  There is always more to understand, learn and grow into

My top 5 next level communication skills are;

 Communicating under stress

  • Stress actually causes most people to become really poor communicators.  The way through this is to know yourself and your stress signs so you can work through them effectively.  Then you need to be able to work through someone else’s stress signs

Communicating during conflict

  • You may be confident to communicate through conflict but what about the person or team you are working with?  What if they are avoiding the conflict or are fearful, what do you do then?

Giving encouragement

  •  It is critical that you understand the needs of the person you are providing encouragement to.  If you don’t you may actually do more damage.  For example most people give encouragement in the way they prefer – ie you love to be noticed, to be recognized, all the bells and whistles.  What if the person you are giving encouragement to is a private person who prefers a quiet one on one?   You may just have mortified them.

 Rebuilding trust

  • If trust has been broken it can be tricky to get back.  It is also something that cannot be forced but must be invited.  The best thing you can do is create a healthy environment where you may be invited to build trust again in that relationship

Communicating in leadership

  • Communication is an essential skill in leadership.  It is necessary to understand your own Communication style and then how to bring out the best in others, how to inspire, to motivate, encourage, teach, based on the individual needs of those you are leading.

If you would like to develop any of these next level communication skills, reach out to see if we can be of assistance.  For support to learn more about your next level skills and how to get the most out of your communication get in touch.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

The Patient and Steady Communicator And Emotion

glue-pixabyThe Patient and Steady Communicator and emotion.  Let’s just go back and be re acquainted with the lovely stabilizing style.

The Patient and Steady style is one that is warm, welcoming, all about relationship and somewhat more reserved than the inspiring or dominant styles.  These guys are all about consistency, predictability and people.  There is no doubt you would have someone with this style in your life as this is the most common communication style.

This style is often described as the glue that holds us all together.  While the Powerful and Direct style is trying to control things and make decisions, the Playful and Influencing style is all about fun, the Perfect and Conscientious style is all about systems and perfection, (more next month) and the Patient and Steady is consistent, caring and loyal.

This style craves predictability, they love processes if someone else sets them up, they will follow the right leader to the very end, and they are committed to their cause.  They will work quietly without the bells and whistles to get the job done.

Don’t expect noise and fan fare.  They are reliable and work to a slower and steadier pace.  They will not cause an uproar and are not likely to speak out against things.  These guys will avoid conflict like the plague, are slower to speak up and want everyone to get along.

In terms of Emotion, these guys can be a hard nut to crack.  They don’t tend to show emotion.  Sad face, happy face, same face. These guys are the poker face of the styles.  Why?  It’s mostly about protection.

This style feels things really deeply, in fact they may feel things the most, however they don’t show it unless they feel incredibly safe and secure. You cannot push this style to show themselves, they have a backbone of steel.  They also do not like confrontation or conflict so will happily avoid it, often to their own detriment.

In the wrong conditions this style has made procrastination and avoidance an art form.

If you are a Patient and Steady Communicator and you feel like sometimes you are misunderstood, why not learn more about your strengths and how others may perceive you?  It is such a great investment in yourself.  You can learn more by reading “The Enlightened Communicator”.  It can be purchased here.  Also keep an eye out for a new service we are introducing shortly on how to understand your style.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.


Inside The Mind Of A Patient and Steady Communicator

harmonyToday I am going to let you inside the mind of a Patient and Steady Communicator.  I want you to imagine that you too are a Patient and Steady Communicator just for a short moment.  How do you feel when you are being pushed, rushed or forced to do something you are not ready to do?

Every other style is probably saying, “what is the issue?”.  However the flustered, sensible, steady, consistent Patient and Steady communicator is thinking, “I don’t need to do this, I like things the way they are, I am going to pretend nothing is happening”.

Patient and Steady Communicators are all about the PEOPLE.  They are not focused on TASKS so much.  Tasks come in way down the list.  The relationships, harmony and stability are what this communicator craves.

I am sharing this with you so if you are living or working with this Communicator, you can catch a glimpse of the world from their perspective.  This builds connection and understanding, something we can all do with more of.

I noticed this very situation one day when my son was in need to get his homework done.  He came home and under pressure from me, whispered that he had about 3 projects due tomorrow.

As I am a Powerful and Direct Communicator and love the challenge, I immediately rose up on the inside and thought about how he could work to get it done.  Before my very eyes I saw him slink within himself, become very quiet and begin to become overwhelmed with the tasks before him.

Inside I am screaming, “What the heck are you doing?  There is no time for avoidance here, you need to get on with it.  You should have planned this and started weeks ago”.  However, I learned years ago that my way does not work for him, and when I push he just gets quieter and digs in his heels.

I stopped, breathed,  (as I was getting frustrated) and thought about the same situation from his perspective.   A very valuable exercise to do.

My son is a Patient and Steady Communicator.  He is all about RELATIONSHIP and he needs stability.  He is a very warm and caring young man but he does not show this openly.  He is quiet, he needs consistency, he hates pressure at all costs and avoids conflict like the plague.  It was really Enlightening for me when I got out of my rush and impatience and took the time to see things from his perspective.


Instead, I sat down, looked at him and said, “ok honey iI am here to help you when you need it.  Just let me know.  I am sure you are going to do really well though, you are such a creative young man.”  He smiled, took his time and in about an hour came out and showed me what he was doing and how he was going to get his assignments done.  Such a nicer outcome than if I had kept on with my agenda.

Perhaps fascinating to others it is completely unintentional on their part.  Stabilisers know deep down their avoidance is causing them problems but they really don’t know what to do about it.  Pushing them only makes it worse – they need to be supported, encouraged and believed in.

So, if you are struggling with a Patient and Steady Communicator, don’t take their avoidance or procrastination to heart.  They crave stability and fear change so much that they sometimes make things worse for themselves.  However, they are so supportive and loyal to others, they make wonderful team members and friends.

If they behave in a way that does not seem proactive, please don’t personalise it, they really don’t mean it.  Try to see what they are dealing with or avoiding and their behaviour may make more sense to you.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.


Facing your fear – saying what you need to say.

Many people don’t face their fear and say what they need to say.  Standing up for yourself and saying what you think or feel takes a whole lot of courage! It really does mean you are facing your fears. Some of you have fears of rejection, fears of inadequacy, fears of failure…. I could go on and on.

Saying what you really feel, sharing your inner most thoughts is confronting to say the least. You are putting yourselves on the line. Many of you have probably been brought up in families where this just not what is done. People hold onto feelings, suppress feelings, stifle our opinions, apologise for reacting to something and clam up.

To make things even harder you are not taught how to understand what makes you tick, why you do what you do, why something’s push tour buttons. Then if you needed more to complicate this already tricky situation, you usually end up close to someone who sees the world in the exact opposite way to you. Tricky, to say the least!

I was working with a group of professionals just recently; they have a very entrenched and unhealthy workplace culture. A few brave soldiers are standing up for change and driving it. Whilst there are others, who have been a part of the toxic culture, and are hanging on for dear life. It is quite a difficult situation.

There is so much emotion, people don’t know who it’s safe to be real with and who you need to watch out for. Everyone is in survival mode so communication is so tense and strained. This naturally brings out the worst in people, which just adds to this spiralling downward cycle.

I really had to commend the courage of these few who stood up and spoke of “the elephant in the room.” Their fear is real; some of the most toxic members of this culture are really tight with the management team.

People are afraid to speak up, to say, “This is just not on!” It has inspired me to write about this issue because I know this is not isolated. I have worked in many workplaces where a few people have just been allowed to get away with bad behaviour.

Partly, I believe it is because people are not confident to speak up and have that difficult conversation (hence our signature course “Master the Art of Difficult conversations”). Check it out here.

Another reason is because we don’t understand how we are different and when someone reacts out of stress we don’t understand and take it personally (hence our signature course “The Enlightened Communicator”). Check it out here.

Finally I believe that many managers do not understand know how to deal with issues of performance and tend to put their head in the sand and allow bad behaviour to reign in their teams. Watch this space for another course to teach Managers how to performance manage well.

So my challenge should you choose to accept it is to speak up! Do something. If this is happening in your world and you are struggling, learn about the communication styles, it is a great start. Learn about your strengths and what may push your buttons.

Learn how to understand the style of others in your world so you can better interpret their behaviour and then de personalise what is not personal. Finally, stand up and say what you believe in, draw a line. This is not acceptable. Believe in yourself enough to know that you deserve better treatment.

You are certainly worth it. At the very least if your workplace is so toxic and change is unlikely then find a place that would benefit form your skills and where you can flourish.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.


Giving constructive feedback? Pt 2

How do you approach giving someone constructive feedback? Pt 2

Constructive feedback can be challenging, please ensure you have read Pt 1 as well as this edition.  When it comes to giving constructive feedback do you take a gently does it approach?  This can come across as more caring and certainly not confrontational however, you also need to ensure you are clear.  You don’t want to confuse the poor person.

I heard Oprah speaking about the first time she fired a staff member.  She said that she explained it so slowly and kindly that at the end of the meeting (2 hours later…) the person was not aware that they had been fired.  Uh oh!  You need to ensure that they get your feedback.

Do you worry about how they will take it, get all messed up and then it becomes all about you?  This can be traumatic for the person providing the feedback as you are racked with assumption, assuming the worst before you have even started a conversation.

Particularly if the feedback is not positive, if you need to address a problem, or something very challenging like terminate some ones employment.  In any conversation the moment we begin assuming, and filling in the gaps we are headed for trouble.

The other problem here is how we respond in situations when we are highly emotional.  Our brains virtually switch off and we can behave erratically or irrationally.

It is important that as soon as you notice you are assuming the worst or even assuming at all, you need to stop yourself.  This will only heighten your stress levels and anxiety.  Besides, an important note, this is not about you.

Effective communication should always be aimed at the receiver – how will they best receive this message.  So calm down and stop assuming!

Do you think about it from their perspective, get into their shoes and deal with it with warmth and respect?  In my experience I have found this to be the most effective way of approaching feedback.

The moment you approach feedback from the receivers perspective you are on the right track.  You are then able to ensure your communication is tailored for them.  It is also important to be respectful and not confrontational.

Despite how serious the breach has been or the issue is at hand, there is no need to disrespect.  When you approach difficult conversations with clarity, warmth and respect you are creating the best possible environment for effective communication.
If you need a better solution to giving feedback contact us at to discuss how we can assist you.

When you understand your own needs as a Communicator and can work out the needs of others giving and receiving feedback becomes so much easier and more successful for everyone involved.  Check out our blue print for effective communication as a good starting point.  Join our community and you will be able to download it it for free.

If you have found this helpful, please share it with someone you think will benefit also.


For tips, free resources and our blog  “light bulb moments” head here to


Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.


Giving constructive feedback. Pt 1

How do you approach giving someone constructive feedback?

Did you know that the way you approach this task says more about you than you might know?  We each have our own unique communication style that influences and drives how we interact with others.

Additionally, many of us do not know how to best approach giving constructive feedback.  This is a critical skill in our communication, it is important to give positive feedback but also constructive.  Without it how do we improve?

As we are all different our approach to feedback also differs.  Some of us are task focused and some are more people focused.  Some are more outgoing and others are more reserved.  I am making it very simple here of course as humans we complicate things so much more – but I like SIMPLE!

Giving feedback is essential in our communication.  It is how we interact on a different level, how we show our impact, how we let someone know the impact they have had on us or on our expectations of them.

In a business environment feedback is essential.  All of us have had feedback sessions with mentors or managers, some great and empowering while others would be filed in the “traumatic” drawer we prefer not to look in all that often.

So how do you approach it?
 Are you an avoider?
 Do you launch in boots and all?
 Do you take it slowly and gently?
 Do you worry about how they will take it, get all messed up and then it becomes all about you?  Or,
Do you think about it from their perspective, get into their shoes and deal with it with warmth and respect? 
Which approach do you think will work out best in the end?

Let’s go through these options and see where they may take us.
 The avoider – this approach rarely works in the long run.  People who avoid issues need to have an amazing tolerance for mediocrity because, best-case scenario, that’s what you will end up with.

Avoiding the issue of giving feedback will only ever hinder the process of growth and development for both you and the person who is to receive the feedback.  When you avoid an issue, it tends to grow, so small issue will grow into a much bigger issue with avoidance.

Jumping in boots and all can also be problematic if you are not fully prepared and able to think before you speak.  The best thing about this approach is that you are doing it.

The most problematic issue may be that if you go in too hard and fast you risk offending the receiver of the feedback; particularly, if the feedback could be confronting for the receiver.

Feedback alone is a confrontational process to go through so we need to be aware of this and ensure our approach is not confrontational as well.

Next time we will check out the gently gently approach to feedback namely, and discuss some effective techniques you can put in place to assist you.

If you have found this helpful, please share it with someone you think will benefit also.

For tips, free resources and information on how to become a more effective communicator check out

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.