miscommunication

The Stabiliser and Stress

11:42 am

Today we discuss the Stabiliser and Stress.  In our last few installments we spoke generally about Communication styles in Strength and in Stress. We then went into detail about the Powerful and Direct Communicator and stress, you can read that one here. If you would like to learn about the Influencer and stress then go here. I am continuing to expand on this idea for you so that you may benefit from this information next time you find yourself in a stressful situation.

The Patient and Steady Communicator or Stabiliser is all about Relationship. They crave harmony, run like the clappers from confrontation and just want us all to get along. They show peace and calm, they are slow to speak, seemingly serene and don’t show much emotion. They will often say things like “Whatever you think” and will rarely make a decision. They are always agreeing with the status quo, are really good listeners and as loyal as they come.

The ‘Patient and Steady’ Communicator loves to listen, support and to be consistent. They love a steady and predictable environment, need lots of time to adapt to change and don’t like to rock the boat, or have theirs rocked!!

You may think they could be a push over – but you are wrong! These guys have a spine like steel! They may not say “No” to you face, that is too confrontational but you won’t be able to make them do what they don’t want to do.

This is one of the most frustrating aspects of this style for the more direct outspoken Powerful and Direct Communicators. If they don’t agree they will say “No.” They have no fear of the word No, and do not understand anyone who does. Whereas the ‘Patient and Steady’ style finds the ‘Powerful and Direct’ far too confronting, do to avoid a conflict will agree or just even stay quiet. The ‘Powerful and Direct’ assumes agreement and the ‘Patient and Steady’ does what they were going to do anyways.

Unfortunately, in general the ‘Patient and Steady’ communicators have no idea how frustrating their avoidance of confrontation can be. They do not understand that staying quiet and not saying how you feel is really confusing for everyone else, particularly when you are asked. The ‘Patient and Steady’ just wants everyone to get along peacefully.

They have a real fear around saying ‘No’ and upsetting people. So they avoid it at all costs. What they don’t often get is that when they avoid or procrastinate they are still saying ‘No’ just in a more confusing way.

The ‘ Powerful and Direct’ Communicator is the polar opposite of the ‘Patient and Steady.’ Remember, the ‘ Powerful and Direct’ is all about quick decisions, fast talking, fast walking get results. They love competition, adventure, crave results and need respect. They are natural leaders, and can tend to take over. This works well for the ‘S’ style who does not naturally like to make decisions. It’s all beautiful until there is a difference in opinion.

So, if you are working or living with a gentle and kind ‘S’ then take heart, they are not meaning to be avoidant and stubborn. The ‘Patient and Steady’ Communicator is such a loyal and caring friend. You just need to give them time to feel safe in your friendship so that they can speak up. If you manage or work with someone like this it is extremely important to create an environment where they are feeling safe and courageous enough to speak up.

I live with many ‘Patient and Steady’ styles and they challenge me constantly. Because they are hard to read and can be easily offended by my direct style I need to really be conscious of how I come across.

The Patient and Steady and Stress may be unexpected in terms of the relationship.  Under stress the ‘Patient and Steady’ can become highly avoidant, do things more slowly, procrastinate because they do not wish to cause any issues. They can appear cold and uncaring. But they just don’t show emotions; it is a protective mechanism for them. Under stress they can become even quieter, more avoidant, show even less emotion and seem to shut down.

For example, at work, you have Stewart who is an ‘Patient and Steady’ style who wants relationships to work well, he is loyal, consistent and reliable. He is quiet, sometimes you don’t even know he is in a meeting, he is always the one people go to for a debrief because he is so caring and such a good listener.

Sometimes you may feel confused because you ask Stewart how he feels about an issue in the office and he nods to all you say, doesn’t say much back but his behavior implies that he agrees. Yet you find out at a meeting with your manager later that you are the only one with an issue no one else feels the same way you do.

You are infuriated because you feel hung out to dry. You confront Stewart who listens and still says not much, you ask directly, why didn’t you speak up? You get nothing. Now you feel really unsupported.

One of the best ways to deal with such behavior is to be kind, supportive, ensure you really manage your emotions and ask them how they feel. Actually ask the question “is everything ok? When we spoke earlier I really felt supported by you and that we were on the same page have I misinterpreted?

Then comes the most critical phase. STOP and allow the to answer. Do not pressure them, do not push them to answer but patiently wait. By doing this you are seeing them, you are allowing them to respond in their time, which is slower than the other styles and you need to be completely patient, supportive and non confrontational.

Now this may feel really frustrating but honestly, the stabiliser will appreciate you slowing down and really hearing them. The ‘Patient and Steady’ style needs to feel related too and heard. They are such patient and good listeners they really appreciate the same back. Most people just get frustrated and move on. Doing this will build a stronger connection for you both.

It is also incredibly healthy to acknowledge for your own needs that you are struggling with the avoidance and procrastination. It also needs to be acknowledged that not speaking up is a bad habit of the ‘S”. There are times where they need to build on their courage. It is healthy for people to be able to speak up.

This takes practice, so for now if all you can grasp is please don’t take it personally then do that! Resources are coming that will help you to develop the skills you need to deal with those difficult conversations and situations.

For example, our popular workshop “Becoming and Enlightened Communicator” will soon be available as an online course for you to do in your own time! Exciting times are ahead everyone!!

Until then, be patient with each other. When something is not working look for the answer other than a personal angle. It is usually not about us, I know it’s hard to believe but really it isn’t.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

 

Kylie Warry

 

 

The Influencer and Stress

10:15 am

Today we will discuss the Playful and Influencing and Stress.  In a recent installment we spoke generally about Communication styles in Strength and in stress ( if you missed it click here). We then went into detail about the Powerful and Direct Communicator and stress, you can read that one here. I am continuing to expand on this idea for you so that you may benefit from this information next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, with either yourself or another stress head!

The Playful and Influencing Communicator is all about Recognition. They want to be liked and to be the centre of attention. They show warmth, they are fun and overly talkative. They will often say things like “I have an idea!” but will rarely follow through. They are always making jokes and trying to make someone laugh.

The ‘Playful and Influencing’ Communicator loves to talk, to have fun, to entertain. They are often very charismatic and love colours , anything to stand out!! They laugh loud and from their toes!

Unfortunately, in general the ‘Playful and Influencing’ communicators have no idea how they come across. Or they believe that regardless they are so lovely so how could they be difficult? They do not understand that some people can find them overbearing or even rude if they talk too much. The ‘I’ juts wants to be liked.

The ‘Playful and Influencing’ Communicator is the the polar opposite of the ‘Perfect and Conscientious’ Communicator. Remember, the ‘Perfect and Conscientious’ is all about efficiency, perfection, detail and doing tasks as well and as thoroughly possible. They love detail, checklists, order, high quality, they are not too talkative and do not wish to stand out.

So, if you are working or living with a ‘Playful and Influencing’ then take heart, they are not meaning to be rude if they talk too much they just want to be heard and liked. The ‘Playful and Influencing’ Communicator is also highly optimistic so may get carried away with an idea or put their hand up for a project. However, as soon as the excitement wears off so does their energy and progress. If you manage or work with someone like this it is extremely important to keep them accountable.

I am married to an ‘Playful and Influencing’ and he is the colour in my world. His energy is amazing, he is always optimistic and full of ideas. Sometimes he gets a bit excited with how much can be squeezed into a 24 hour period, but he is so much fun.  One of  the keys to me being able to love him and fully appreciate who he is has been understanding.  This is also a two way street.  He has also taken the time to understand me.

Under stress the attributes of the Influencer become magnified. The ‘Playful and Influencing’ tends to speak more and listen less, they will talk purely for the sake of it and it is all about them craving the recognition. They can appear very selfish and egotistical. But they just want to be liked and recognised for who they are. Under stress they can become even more flighty and zip about like a fly at a window.

For example, at work, their is Lilly who is an “Playful and Influencing” style who wants recognition, and sees the good and fun side to everything. She is talkative, funny, speaks fast, speaks a lot, seems flippant some times and you sometimes wonder how to get a word in edgewise. Sometimes you may feel like you try to share some of your stories BUT they get lost in theirs. They always have another story, a better, more hilarious story. Eventually you stop trying to share.

Sometimes when speaking with Lilly, you see her glaze over as she becomes ‘bored’ and moves onto a more interesting topic or person. This hurts you, but she seems oblivious. The truth is she is. None of this is personal at all; she really wants you to like her, to think she is funny and entertaining.

Under stress, she gets even worse, more talkative, more self focused, you may even feel hurt and ignored by her behavior. Whilst this is not ok, I am explaining this to you for your benefit. By understanding this you will be able to get through this stressful time because you wont take it personally.

One of the best ways to deal with such behavior is to be ‘kind’ right back. Not rude, don’t shut them out or ignore them but actually ask the question “is everything ok? You seem distracted today, I’ve tried to talk to you but you aren’t hearing me. By doing this you are seeing them, you are recognising them.

For example Lilly says to you fast and fun, “how was your weekend?” As you begin to answer, she jumps right on over the top of you and tells you all about hers.

You could consider saying with patience and care “Lilly, are you ok? you seem distracted today. You asked me about my weekend and I’d love to share but I feel like you aren’t listening to me, is everything all right?”

Now this may be freaking you out right now but honestly, the influencer will appreciate you noticing. The ‘I’ style needs to feel recognised and heard and will really appreciate you noticing. Most people just get frustrated and move on. Doing this builds a stronger connection for you both.

It is also incredibly healthy to acknowledge for your own needs that you are not enjoying this one-way conversation. Healthy conversations need to be 2-way.

This takes practice, so for now if all you can grasp is please don’t take it personally then do that! Resources are coming that will help you to develop the skills you need to deal with those difficult conversations and situations.

For example, our popular workshop “Becoming and Enlightened Communicator” will soon be available as an online course for you to do in your own time! Exciting times are ahead everyone!!

Until then, be patient with each other. When something is not working look for the answer other than a personal angle. It is usually not about us, I know it’s hard to believe but really it isn’t.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Kylie Warry

 

Words schmerds

7:18 pm

I am constantly entertaining myself with communication blunders. Seriously, the number of times I just get it wrong, I have to laugh, otherwise I would be crying.

Only this morning I was having some technical challenges with dropbox. I had a colleague trying to share something with me and for the life of me it would not work.

I even ask my “techspert” husband to have a look and he could not work it out either. That although frustrating, did make me feel a little better, it was not just me!!!

Finally, I decided to go old school and get on the phone and call the person who had sent me the link! Fancy that, actually calling someone to ask a question, I know radical!!

She answered the phone and I blurt, “I’m having such trouble with the x-box!” She was a supreme professional and did not even giggle. In the silence that followed I replayed the statement in my head and then blurted “I mean dropbox!”

I laughed which gave her permission to laugh also at my freudian slip. I had only been speaking that morning with my husband about what we can put in place to simplify our home life and get our son of the dreaded xbox.

So as we both laughed we sorted the problem out swiftly and with ease. Do you ever do this? Swap words and not even realise what you have done? I have to be honest, I do it all the time!

I do suffer form insomnia sometimes so I could put it down to lack of sleep. I think part of it is an external example of just how much is going on inside my brain. Possibly why the idea of serenity, peace, space and surrender appeal to me so much. It is the exact opposite to what is going on in reality in the 6 inches between my ears.

What can things like this teach us?

Firslty, don’t forget to talk to people, don’t rely heavily on email and texting. It is much quicker and more pleasant to have a conversation.

Secondly, slow down, breathe. Remove the last 20 things from your to do list and just stop and be present. Why are you rushing? Will someone die if you don’t get it finished? If the answer is “No” take a break, even for 5 minutes

Lastly, learn to laugh at yourself. I am always making goof ups and consequently the perfectionist in me has slowly been able to learn to relax a bit and at least laugh when I goof up. It is so much easier to deal with if you are able to relax and just have a giggle.

Take it easy and remember,

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

 

Who gets your best?

12:07 pm

Can I ask you a question? Who gets your best? We live in a funny old world that can sometimes have us with our priorities all the wrong way about.

If you stop and think about it who does get your best?

Is it your loved ones or is it your boss or colleagues at work?  Is it your hungry for attention child / partner or a client that causes your unending trouble.  Is it your loving and forever friends or a business you are working to get off the ground or out of a hole?  It’s really worthwhile taking time to consider this.

Most of you if you were asked why do you work, there would be at some theme around the necessity to work so you can earn a living and provide for your families.  Am I right?

If you are one of the lucky ones you love what you do, that is truly a bonus!  But, how many times have you found yourself in the situation where life and work just gets crazy and takes over?

You drag your sorry butt in the door after a big day, you bark at your partner or spouse because they want a piece of you, you yell at your kids as they ask for a piece of you and you look for the wine glass to be full. Can anyone relate?

I have felt like this many times throughout my career and I love what I do. However, without careful management and dedication to keeping you eyes on things the balance beam can slip into unhealthy really quickly.

I heard a seminar by a very wise man recently and he spoke about keeping some space before our boundary so that when we get home we have energy and time for those we love the most. If we spend everything we have at work then we come home empty and harassed. We have nothing left to give.

Then we end up giving our worst to the ones we love the most.  Look, if you are honest we have all done this at one time or another. If you can’t relate then you are on the wrong blog seriously.  Perhaps go find angels anonymous or something!  Or come and teach me how you do it, because I find it a continual juggle to get the balance right.

So how do we keep the space and ensure we have enough when we get home? I believe it is a combination of things. Here are a few of my ideas;

  • Knowing yourself well enough to know when you are becoming overwhelmed.  Then ask for help!
  • Being able to have healthy boundaries at work so that you don’t allow your work to dominate your life all of the time.
  • Knowing what fills your tank so that you are giving back to yourself, this is your responsibility not someone else’s.
  • Ensuring that you fill your own tank with activities that bring you a sense of joy and fulfillment.
  • Being able to just “be” even if it is for a short time.
  • Keeping things in a healthy perspective.
  • Setting goals for yourself and with your family (if you don’t know where you are headed you will never get to where you want to be).
  • In coming articles we will cover some of these points in more detail because I really believe this is important stiff to get right in your lives.  It is sad when you find yourself giving your all to people who don’t matter & leaving nothing in your tank for the people who do matter most.  I encourage you to take the time to check in and see where you are at. You and your relationships are worth it.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

 

 

When Strong Communicators don’t listen

12:12 pm

I had a really interesting experience recently. I was working with a client who explained that there is a person they have to deal with often who is a very strong communicator.

They are likely a Powerful and Direct style who loves problems and challenges, craves Results, is very black and white and can come across as confrontational and even aggressive. Such people can be highly opinionated to the point where the only opinion that can exist in conversation with them is theirs!!

My client was really struggling because they had realised that this person was very good at saying “No” but did not hear when others said “No” to them. How interesting I thought so I wanted to share this with you all

Such a strong Communicator has absolutely no issue with boundaries and looking after their own interests. Most of them don’t even realise how much they can come across like a bully at times. They honestly think every one else finds it just as easy to say “No,” when needed.

However, here is where it gets interesting.  Because they are such strong Communicators and can be so confrontational – usually people don’t actually say “No” to them!  So they get this false sense of reality, that there are no issues and they go on their merry way.

When someone finally comes along that says “No” to them; they don’t even hear it. You actually have to say to them something like, “Sorry, I just said No, I don’t agree with that and you have not heard me.”  Be persistent, they are!

Now I spend much of my training and coaching time helping people become more assertive. If this is you and you struggle with the idea of being assertive, you may be having a stroke right now at the thought of being so assertive and direct.  In fact, many people I consult with are worried that they will seem rude and uncaring.

This is far form the truth and the amazing thing is, it works! Strong Communicators need to be Communicated in a strong and direct way. They get it and even more importantly they respect it. The trouble comes when people avoid them and are not direct with them.

One of the keys to great communication is adapting your style to your listener. So if you are reading this I am sure you are becoming more aware, more conscious and enlightened each day so you understand that even if confrontation scares the heck out of you, it is the best way to be understood by a Strong Communicator.

Best of all they don’t see it as confrontation, I promise. You are the only one struggling with this idea, not them.  Just have a go, remember don’t be rude, be respectful, stick to the facts, use “I” messages, be assertive and you will get through to that Strong Communicator.

If you need help with these Communication skills, we can help!  Check out our website by clicking here and drop us a line, or send an email and we can begin to resource you.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

 

Lets change our world for the better one conversation at a time.

When the GPS makes a mistake

4:10 pm

Recently I was driving to a seminar in the evening. It had been a busy day and I had performed a minor miracle getting out of the house, having prepped dinner for the family then got my self out before 530.

I was driving to a place I had never been to before and was relying on my trusty GPS. Approaching major and very busy intersection, the GPS asked me to get into the far right lane for a right turn at lights. I obliged (which is unusual for me but I did it). Once I arrived at the lights in the far right, the GPS decides to flash a few Questions marks “???” and then tells me to go straight ahead.

The amount of traffic that had hemmed me in by this stage meant there was no way this was going to happen. I felt myself become quite angry and I was about to start telling this GPS what I really thought when I remembered that remaining calm would serve me better than losing it right now.  I know, another miracle!

I turned right and kept on driving waiting for the GPS to recalibrate and set me back on course. A few minutes later she did so, and I eventually arrived safely.

My point? Even GPS’s make mistakes, remaining calm and allowing time for recalibration is always a better option than chucking a complete wobbly. I arrived on time, I was not stressed out of my tree and my GPS lives to make a mistake another day.

Even in our relationships when things go awry, stay calm, look ahead and believe in a positive outcome …… even if it seems so far away. This type of response will serve you much better than an angry, closed minded emotional reptilian brain on full speed.

When you respond this way, others will be thinking, “Crikey, they kept it together”, you will be a light in the dark and be remembered as the calm “go to” person in times of trouble.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

 

Have a GPS mentality

9:38 am

I am always encouraging you guys to have a go at a difficult conversation, to try something new. To speak up! This is so hard for so many of you and unless you try and try again things will never change.

Trying new things requires you to be kind and patient with yourselves. One thing I teach in training sessions is for you to have a GPS mentality when it comes to your mistakes.

If you are like me you have an ongoing discussion with the GPS, she suggests the way and I go what way think is right, typical strong D! However, even if my way is not right (Heaven forbid!) what does my lovely GPS lady do? She simply resets and says “at the next possible opportunity turn right.”

She does not berate me, tell me I’m stupid or say “Geez you did it again, you always think you’re right and look at you, you stuffed it again!”

Nope, with a calm tone she repeats, “at the next possible opportunity turn right.” Even stranger, she keeps doing this no matter how many mistakes I make.

What does your self-talk do? Are you like the calm GPS or the berating version?  I know which one most of you are like 🙁

When you are practicing something new there are guaranteed to be some clunky moments. Times where you say or do the wrong thing, over react or simply go blank. It’s all ok. Just breathe, smile to yourself, congratulate yourself for having a go and then reset; like the GPS

If we could all approach our learning and our mistakes like this what a wonderful world it would be.

So have a go, have that difficult chat, give that person some well intended and needed feedback, tell some one how you feel, say “No” if you need to and then ensure you congratulate yourself no matter what the result.

Then next time it will go just a little smoother, you will begin to feel more confident and before you know it, you are being authentic and honest in your communication with others.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Starve or Thrive in Relationships? It’s up to you

2:56 pm

Communication is often so much harder than it needs to be.  Whether or not you are starving or thriving in your key relationships is up to you.  There are so many variables operating against you namely;

  • Different backgrounds
  • Different gender
  • Different communication preferences,
  • History or past experience
  • and what I call buttons (or sensitive places)

When you think of all of these variables all mushed up into a human is it any wonder we all can connect at all? Firstly backgrounds, this can be as simple as do you come from a talking, loud and proud family or from a calmer more introspective bunch? Do you talk about issues or bury them?

These things alone can break a relationship sooner than anything. You meet the love of your life and then they meet your family. That can sometimes be enough. And that’s while your family on good behaviour!

Gender, I sometimes think God sits back with a smile on His face and giggles at how we all get so messed up at the gender differences. As a proud, strong young woman I thought feminism was for me. I have now changed my stance based on my experience to believe that yes there should be equal opportunity but we are completely different. Neither is better or worse we are fundamentally different, and Thank God for that.

I do not need to apologise for my femininity and no man needs to apologise for his masculinity. We are different and together we can accomplish far more than when we are at each other competing.

Different Communication Preferences, this alone is enough to cause confusion for the rest of our natural lives, unless we all decide to be self-reflective, learn about our needs and learn about the needs of others. My favourite book “Personality Plus” by Florence Littauer changed my life and I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in this area of communication. My book “The Enlightened Communicator,”   also touches on these differences and how my experience and journey have shaped my experiences.

History or past experience can be a complete minefield, especially if you are not open to learning about how your past effects your today and your tomorrow. It only affects you when you don’t know how it affects you. I know confusing, but for example, if a person has betrayed you in your past, you then meet someone with similar traits in the present. You may unknowingly assume some things about them that are not valid or true at all. Don’t let the past control you, learn from it and move on.

Buttons are one of my favourite things. We all have them! Most people don’t know what they are and wonder why they are at the mercy of them as you go throughout their day with them being pushed by whoever, whenever. Let’s get control back people. Know your sensitive points and then take responsibility for them.

If some poor person unwittingly pushes a button for you, guess what? It’s your responsibility to get over it not theirs. Do some reflection, ask yourself, what happened, what did you feel, where did that come from. Then allow yourself to move forward, learning from the experience.

Be patient and kind to yourself sometimes it takes a while to work out where the root cause came from. Journaling can be a wonderful gift in this process. This is true maturity when you have had a button pushed and you work through this process taking responsibility to do this. How incredibly freeing!

Take the time and the commitment to master these variable and differences and you are well on the way to Thriving in all aspects of your relationships.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

Top 5 Communication Mistakes #5

5:17 pm

The Final Communication Mistake;

5: Not knowing Your Communication

Strengths

We live in a critical world where we all know far too well what we are not good at.  We are told from the moment we are born, you are not good at this, you need to improve that, don’t even try that, it is not a talent of yours.  So what are your strengths – what strengthens you?

We all have strengths in communication – some of us are great at seeing the big picture.  Some are wonderful and charming influencers, some are amazing and patient listeners and others are able to see the detail and analyse information.  Either way we all have strengths.  The problem is, is that many of you don’t know your strengths.  We actually don’t even realise the truth about what strengths are.  We have been fooled into thinking that a strength is something we are good at.  BUT NO!  A strength is something that strengthens you, a weakness is something that drains you.  You may be wonderful at balancing the books but you may absolutely despise it.  That is not a strength!!

When you know your strengths, you know what works for you, you realise that we are all fundamentally different, you close the gap and minimize the misinterpretations, you find common ground and you think before you speak VOILA you have GREAT CONNECTION.

It still confounds me that after completing a Psychology degree, that I was not taught this stuff. Yes we learned active listening and reflective questioning etc but not about Communication styles, differences, strengths etc. No! To learn that I had to seek it out so I have made it my mission to make it easier for any fellow travellers out there that frequently wonder, “Why is it so hard?” Or, “How can we do it better?”  If you’d like to see how the different communication styles work here is a free download on your Communication strengths.

This is by no means an accurate assessment of your Communication strengths but is a greta way for you to begin to understand your strengths and also the strengths of others in your world.

Thanks for joining us to examining the top 5 communication mistakes we make everyday. If you have found this helpful please share it with someone who would benefit.

For tips, free resources and information on our upcoming Master class “The Art Of Difficult Conversations” check out our website at www.teamology.com.au

 

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.

 

Top 5 Communication Mistakes #4

12:57 pm

The fourth of the top 5 mistakes is;

Not understanding that as Communicators we are different!

Unfortunately, the source of many of our communication problems is the gap!  I see the world one way and receive information one way, and you do it another way.  Its all ok just different.

Most of us automatically assume that everyone sees the world as you see it.  This is at such a subconscious level you won’t even realise that you are doing it.  We don’t know why someone dislikes our new hairstyle, or why someone might not like our colour scheme.  So, if you are a bottom line kind of person who does not fluff about at all, when you come into contact with a warm fuzzy person who could think of nothing better than shooting the breeze all day you may certainly go nuts.

You are different; you have different agendas, different needs, different likes and different ways of doing things.  Neither is right or wrong they are just different.

If you are a person who is quick to anger, you are likely quick to recover and move on.  However, if you are dealing with a person who is slower to anger, who takes on more, for a very long time….. When they finally get to boiling point (and they will!) they will take a long time to recover also.  Neither is right or wrong just different.  Understanding this fundamental principle of communication will make all of the difference – we are different, we have different needs and we communicate them – you guessed it – DIFFERENTLY!

Just being aware of this goes such a long way to bridging the gap.  When someone says or does something we don’t understand, instead of taking it personally or getting upset we are able to say, ok, so they see and do things differently to me.  Thats ok.  Then with a child like curiosity seek to understand it.

Next time we will look at the final mistake of the top 5 communication mistakes made everyday. If you have found this helpful please share it with someone who would benefit.

For tips, free resources and information on our upcoming Master class “The Art Of Difficult Conversations”  or check out our website at www.teamology.com.au

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.  Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.